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manicpixiedreamkira · 2 days ago

Text

kigatsukeba

part one

megumi x reader, aged up!megumi (and others), early twenties, working as sorcerers, post shinjuku showdown arc but megumi doesn't have his face scars, megumi trying and failing to be in control of his feelings, gojo's gone, bonded through trauma, friends to fwb to lovers, drinking/getting drunk, jealousy, confusing feelings, megumi sucks at feelings, miscommunication, misinterpretation, megumi being stubborn, reader being clueless, slowish burn, idiots in love, jerking off, a bit of size kink ngl, megumi is older here so he’s taller (like 6'2?), he's also buffer (he's toji's son guys, c'mon), reader is described as smaller/shorter than him, takuma ino mentioned, smut, unprotected piv, nasty sex (multiple times), but also love making, confessions, aftercare, a bit of angst, but there's fluff here too, megumi's down bad, not beta'd

a.n: let me know if i missed anything, hope y'all like this one <3

w.c: 11,228

Megumi Fushiguro didn’t jerk off.

Not because he was a prude, or shy, or hadn’t thought about it—he had. He was a twenty-something man with a healthy sex drive and more than a few opportunities to take the edge off.

But he didn’t need to.

He was disciplined. In control. Raised with restraint wired into his spine like steel. If the need got bad enough, there were hookups—casual, clean, quiet. No mess, no entanglements. No reason to wrap his own fingers around his cock like some desperate teenager.

Until tonight.

Until your scent sank into the sterile hotel air, soft and lingering. Until it clung to the couch cushions beside him, where you’d been tucked up against a throw pillow with your damp hair dripping onto your shoulders, skin still flushed from the shower. Until he could still see the shape of your thighs in the shorts you'd worn to bed, still hear your laughter under the glow of the movie you'd picked—some dumb action thing you swore was "a cult classic."

Until all of that stayed behind when you left.

The door to your room had clicked shut almost an hour ago. The suite had gone quiet. And still, the ghost of you lingered.

So now, Megumi had his cock in his hand.

Fingers curled tight, dragging up the flushed length of it, slow and frustrated. The head was red, slick with precum, veins straining against the weight of his restraint. His teeth dug into his lower lip so hard he tasted blood.

He hated this.

Hated the way his brain conjured the image of you, lazy and smiling, your bare legs stretched across the ottoman while you licked popcorn salt from your thumb. Hated the way your scent was everywhere. Hated that your name was on the tip of his tongue, curling like a curse.

His hips jerked against his fist, and he choked down a sound—something dark, desperate, pathetic. The walls were thin. You were right there.

And this—this was humiliating.

He squeezed harder.

God, he hated himself.

—

It was supposed to be a special-grade curse—dangerous enough that two full-fledged sorcerers were dispatched without question—but someone had definitely screwed up the classification. By the time you and Megumi arrived, it was clear the threat was barely even worth a second-year’s time. A third-grade curse, at best. One of you could’ve handled it solo, easy.

Still, neither of you complained. It was Shizuoka—quiet, a little more suburban than Tokyo, with the ocean close enough that the air smelled fresher. The hotel they’d booked for you was nicer than expected too, tucked a little away from the touristy parts, the restaurant downstairs good enough that you decided to make a night of it.

After the clean-up and the paperwork, you and Megumi shared dinner at the hotel restaurant, lingering over fresh sushi and grilled fish, sipping tea and half-heartedly talking about work. Mostly, though, you caught up. Missions had kept you both busy in different parts of the country lately—you hadn’t seen him in nearly two months.

It was easy, like it always was. He didn’t have to force conversation with you. Didn’t have to pretend to be anyone but himself. You laughed about old missions, filled him in on some dumb drama with other sorcerers at Jujutsu High, told him about the new cat you adopted. He listened, really listened, watching you from under the messy fringe of his hair with something almost soft in his eyes.

If he noticed how the curve of your mouth distracted him, he didn’t say anything.

If you noticed how he looked at you a little too long, you didn’t either.

Later, after dinner, you both showered and changed into comfortable clothes—loose shorts and a tank top for you, sweatpants and a t-shirt for him—and sprawled across the couch in his room to pick a movie.

Now you were lounging sideways with your hair still damp, loosely swept to one side. A blanket was thrown haphazardly over your legs, one foot sticking out. The TV glowed across your skin, casting faint blue shadows that made you look ethereal. Megumi tried not to stare.

“This is the dumbest movie I’ve ever seen,” he said flatly.

You beamed. “Isn’t it amazing?”

He rolled his eyes, but there was no heat behind it. He’d let you pick the movie, like he always did, and like always, you chose something objectively terrible. Over-the-top stunts, cheesy one-liners, paper-thin plot. And yet—he was smiling a little. You made it entertaining. You always did.

“Admit it,” you said, nudging his shin with your toe, “you’re having fun.”

He didn’t answer, which only made you grin wider.

Outside the wide windows, Shizuoka’s lights twinkled against the dark, the city slowing down for the night but never fully asleep. Your mission was done. You had nowhere to be until tomorrow. The world, for once, felt slow.

You yawned and stretched, arms above your head, tank top riding up just slightly before you let them drop again. “Alright. Bedtime. Early train and all that.”

Megumi nodded once, eyes carefully on the TV.

“Night, Fushiguro.”

“Night.”

You stood, gathered your things, and padded off toward the left-side bedroom, the one you’d claimed when you arrived. The door closed softly behind you.

He didn’t move.

Just sat there, rigid, jaw tense, listening to the distant hum of the hallway and the quiet creak of the walls. Thin enough that he could hear you shuffling around, zipping up your overnight bag, plugging in your phone.

Thin enough that if he weren’t so tightly wound, so furious with himself, he might imagine hearing the faint rustle of your sheets as you crawled into bed.

Instead, he pressed his palms to his face, exhaled sharply through his nose, and cursed under his breath.

He needed a shower. A cold one.

—

But he doesn't take a shower.

Instead, thirty minutes later, he’s flat on his back in the dark, one hand buried under the waistband of his sweats, jerking himself off to the thought of you—after making sure to lock his door. It’s not even a coherent fantasy. Just flashes. Snapshots. The sound of your voice. The way your hair stuck to your neck. The shape of your thighs when you shifted positions on the couch. That one time you stretched in front of him in your sports bra before a mission and didn’t even notice he’d stopped talking mid-sentence.

Your smell. That lotion. Sweet and warm and unmistakably you.

He bites back another noise, this one closer to a whimper.

It’s not like this is the first time he’s noticed you. He’s not that blind. He’s seen the way other people look at you—sorcerers, civilians, even cursed spirits in the middle of battle. You’re beautiful. Sharp. Capable. Terrifying when you want to be.

But this is the first time it’s hit him like a goddamn truck.

The first time he’s had to acknowledge how deep it goes. How the fondness has turned into tension, how the teasing has gotten sharper, closer. How your hands linger longer when you pass him a drink. How your voice softens when it’s just the two of you.

His eyes squeeze shut as he strokes faster, chasing the high he doesn't want to admit he needs. His name on your lips. Your lips on his skin. The idea of you slipping into his bed and—

Fuck.

He comes with a stifled grunt, biting down hard on his own wrist to keep the sound from leaking out. His whole body tenses, the aftershocks wracking through him as he lies there, spent and furious and still half-hard because it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough.

He wipes himself off with shaking hands, then lies back against the mattress, chest heaving.

He’s so fucked.

—

The next morning, Megumi was already awake when your alarm buzzed faintly through the wall.

He hadn’t slept.

He’d laid there in the dark for hours, shame prickling under his skin like a fever, staring at the ceiling and replaying every humiliating second over and over in his mind.

The worst part wasn’t that he jerked off.

It was that he couldn’t stop thinking about you even after he came.

It was that it didn’t make it better. It made it worse.

Now, sunlight was creeping pale and soft over the city outside. The train back to Tokyo left in a few hours. And Megumi knew he had to face you.

When you finally emerged from your room—stretching and yawning in an oversized hoodie and leggings, hair still mussed from sleep—Megumi’s stomach twisted painfully. You smiled at him, easy and warm, completely unaware of the disgusting mess he’d made of everything inside his head.

You could have climbed inside his mind right then—he felt that vulnerable, that raw. Like you could peel him open and see every shameful, ugly thought he'd ever had.

He dropped his eyes to the floor immediately.

“Morning,” you said, voice a little scratchy.

He grunted something back that barely qualified as a greeting.

You cocked your head slightly. "We’ve got time before the train—wanna grab breakfast downstairs?"

Your tone was so casual. So normal. Like nothing had changed. And maybe for you, nothing had.

But Megumi couldn’t even look at you.

He shook his head stiffly. "Not hungry," he muttered.

You blinked. "You sure? Their buffet looked—"

"I’m fine."

It came out harsher than he meant. Too harsh. He saw it—the flicker of confusion in your face, the way your mouth pressed into a softer, uncertain line.

Guilt bloomed hot under his ribs.

He felt like throwing up. For touching himself thinking about you. For thinking he could pretend nothing had happened. For hurting you now, too, on top of everything else.

You nodded once, careful, and disappeared back into your room to grab your things.

He hated himself more with every second that passed.

—

The train ride back to Tokyo was miserable.

You tried—god, you tried.

Little things. Commenting on the weather. Pointing out a funny ad in the station. Mentioning how badly you wanted a real breakfast once you got home.

Each time, Megumi answered in one or two clipped words, eyes glued to the window or his phone, refusing to meet your gaze.

He felt your energy falter gradually—like a dimming lightbulb. Confusion first. Then hurt. Then that heavy silence he knew was you giving up.

It made him feel even sicker. But he couldn't fix it. Couldn't find it in himself to risk looking at you again and you seeing everything written on his face.

So he stayed turned away, watching the landscape blur past, counting the minutes until he could get away from you.

Coward.

—

When the train finally pulled into Tokyo Station, Megumi was up and moving before it even fully stopped.

He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder with a speed that was almost rude. You barely had time to get up before he was halfway down the platform.

"Fushiguro—?" you called, voice cutting through the sea of people.

He half-turned—just enough to throw a glance over his shoulder. Not enough to meet your eyes.

"I’ll see you later," he said quickly. "Thanks for the mission."

And then he was gone—shoulders stiff, disappearing into the morning crowd before you could say anything else.

You stood there for a long second, your bag dangling from your hand, the city roaring around you.

Had you done something wrong?

You replayed the past twenty-four hours in your head, frowning. Dinner had been fine. The movie had been fine. You hadn't fought. Hadn’t said anything weird. Hadn’t—

You sighed, pushing those thoughts down and started moving, blending into the busy city folk.

—

Two weeks went by.

You didn’t see him.

Not at Jujutsu High. Not in the training halls. Not even with Yuuji and Nobara, having lunch at that chinese place they always seemed to be at.

The absence sat heavy in your chest, even though you told yourself it was stupid to care. It wasn’t like you were anything important to him. Just friends. Just mission partners.

And maybe not even that, anymore.

It wasn’t until Yuji’s birthday—March 20th, a Saturday this year—that you finally crossed paths again.

Nobara was throwing a party for him at a loud ramen place near Shibuya. She’d booked a private room, packed with more people than should have fit, all of them loud and happy and shoulder-to-shoulder at the long tables. The air thick with laughter and clattering bowls of noodles.

You were already there, wedged between Aoi and Maki, when Megumi arrived, a few minutes late.

You felt his presence before you even saw him—like your body knew.

He ducked inside the room, hair damp from a shower, wearing a black hoodie half-zipped over a plain t-shirt.

He looked exhausted.

He looked beautiful.

He looked like he wanted to turn right back around and leave the second his eyes landed on you.

You caught the stiff jerk of his shoulders, the way his mouth flattened into a hard line. You turned quickly back to your drink before you could make it worse.

But your chest ached.

—

You weren’t planning on getting drunk.

But a few shots in, it stopped feeling like a decision.

The private room Nobara booked was packed, heavy with the scent of broth and beer, the buzz of a dozen overlapping conversations. Ramen bowls clattered against the wooden tables, servers squeezed between chairs with trays of drinks, and someone had cranked the music up too loud on the old stereo in the corner.

You lost track of how many shots Yuuji poured into your cup. You lost track of how many toasts you cheered to. You stopped caring. Mostly, you drank to drown the sharp, ugly knot in your chest.

Across the table, Megumi sat stiffly, his dark hair falling messy across his forehead. He’d shrugged off his jacket, and the plain black t-shirt he wore clung to the lines of his shoulders, his arms. Even sitting down, he was long and lean, legs sprawled slightly under the table in a way that made him look like he didn’t quite fit in the too-small space.

He wasn't drunk.

He never got drunk.

He'd had a beer, maybe two, the lazy flush of alcohol just barely pinking his cheeks, but that was it. Always controlled. Always careful. Always responsible.

You hated him for it tonight.

You hated the way he sat there, silent and brooding, without so much as looking at you.

So you drank more.

You wore a slip dress tonight—short, backless, the silky fabric clinging to the curve of your hips, dipping low across your spine. It shimmered slightly when you moved, catching the dim restaurant light like liquid metal. Your makeup was heavier than usual too, smoky and dark around your eyes, your mouth glossed and soft.

You knew you looked good.

You wanted Megumi to look.

But if he did, he hid it too well.

Somewhere between your third and fourth drink, Yuuji slung an arm around Megumi's stiff shoulders, laughing too loud.

"What's with the funeral face, Fushiguro?" he teased, breath warm with sake. "It's my birthday, not yours, asshole!"

Megumi shrugged him off without much force, shooting him a withering look.

"Just tired," he muttered.

"Tired of what?" Nobara crowed from across the table, half-sprawled over Maki. "You've been sitting there looking like someone kicked your puppy all night!"

"I don't have a puppy," Megumi said, deadpan.

Yuta leaned in, smiling, voice gentle. "Maybe he just needs another drink."

"I think he needs to get laid," Todo declared, raising his glass with a booming laugh.

The table erupted into laughter. Even Toge, nestled between Panda and a slouching Noritoshi, muttered a muffled "Salmon" into his drink.

You laughed too, a little too loud, the alcohol making everything slosh and sway a little inside you.

When you looked over at Megumi, his jaw was clenched so tightly you thought he might break a tooth.

Good, you thought viciously.

Let him suffer a little.

That's when Ino slid into the empty seat beside you.

Takuma Ino—messy, charming, handsome in that way that didn’t feel serious. He’d hit on you before, more than once, always easy, always harmless. You never thought much about it.

But tonight... you were angry. You were drunk. And Ino was smiling at you like he thought you were the most interesting thing in the room.

"You look incredible," he said, tipping his drink toward you with a lazy wink. The dim restaurant light caught his sharp cheekbones, his strong jaw, the slope of his nose. The shadows made him look sharper, older. Handsomer.

Still—he looked like nothing next to Megumi.

That only made you angrier.

You smiled back at Ino, slow and syrupy, letting your hand trail lightly down his arm.

"Do I?" you said, leaning in, letting the neckline of your dress slip a little lower.

Across the room, Megumi’s hand tightened around his beer bottle so hard his knuckles went white.

He told himself to ignore it. He told himself you were drunk, you didn't mean anything by it. He told himself he didn’t care.

And for a few minutes, he almost managed.

Until he saw Ino’s hand slide lower on your back—fingers brushing the bare skin where your dress dipped scandalously low.

Until he saw you tilt your head back and laugh at something Ino whispered against your ear.

Something sharp and ancient tore through Megumi’s chest. He was moving before he realized it.

One second you were laughing into Ino's shoulder—the next, a large, strong hand clamped around your wrist, pulling you to your feet.

"Hey—!" Ino protested, half-rising from his seat.

Megumi didn’t even glance at him. His grip was firm but not painful, his body radiating a heat and fury you could feel down to your bones.

"She's done for tonight," he said curtly.

No one argued. Not even Ino.

Too much of something simmered under Megumi’s voice. Too much promise of violence.

You stumbled a little as he pulled you toward the door, your head spinning. Your heels clicked clumsily against the wood floor.

"Fushiguro," you slurred, trying to pull your hand free, "what the fuck are you—"

"Be quiet," he muttered under his breath.

Your heart stumbled.

Not because of the words. But because of the way he said them—low, rough, desperate.

You shut up.

Megumi didn’t let go of your wrist until you reached the sidewalk, the noise of the restaurant fading behind you. Only then did he stop, his chest heaving slightly, his hand dropping away like he was afraid of burning himself.

The second the restaurant door closed behind you, your skin prickled with cold, the flimsy silk of your backless dress no match for the crisp breeze rolling in from the river. You hugged your arms tightly to yourself, wobbling slightly on your heels as the alcohol buzz settled deeper into your bones.

You swayed slightly, like you were going to fall. He caught you instinctively, hands steadying you at your waist—but the second you were upright again, he snatched them back like he couldn't stand to touch you.

You stared up at him—blinking, confused, still dizzy with alcohol.

He was tall.

Much taller than you, the way he loomed over you without even trying—broad-shouldered, all lean, restrained strength wrapped in soft cotton and dark denim.

You had to tip your head back to meet his eyes.

And he was looking at you like you were a problem he didn’t know how to fix. Something dark flickered across his face—something he quickly, ruthlessly shoved down.

The night air bit sharper against your skin now, sobering you just enough to register the awful silence stretching between you.

Megumi still hadn’t said a word, still as stone and gaze trained on the pavement. Just a shadow in the orange wash of the streetlight, broad-shouldered and silent, his expression unreadable.

You turned your head slowly to face him, your voice sharp and slurred with anger.

"You dragged me out of there," you bit out, voice louder than you intended, "and you can’t even look at me?"

Megumi flinched almost imperceptibly—like your words physically hurt—jaw clenched. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket, and even now, in his rigid silence, he couldn’t bring himself to meet your eyes.

"You’re drunk," he said shortly. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Fuck you, Megumi," you snapped, chest heaving. "I know exactly what I'm saying."

He raked a hand through his hair, rough, frustrated. For a moment, you thought he might actually say something—something real—but still, nothing. No answer. Not even a flicker of emotion.

You gave a bitter, breathy laugh and turned away from him, hugging yourself tighter. A shiver rattled your shoulders.

And then, quietly, there was the rustle of fabric behind you.

He stripped off his jacket in one swift movement, draping it over your shoulders without looking at you. His hands brushed your upper arms only briefly, barely even touching, but it was enough to send a warm pulse through your chest.

The heavy fabric smelled like him—cedar, clean soap, something faintly citrusy underneath.

You looked up at him in surprise.

Even now—especially now—he couldn’t stand to see you shivering on the street because of him.

You tugged it closer instinctively.

It covered most of your slip dress, the silky hem barely peeking out from underneath, hiding the vulnerable expanse of your bare back and thighs.

You blinked.

“Thanks,” you muttered, mostly to the sidewalk.

Megumi’s face was a mask. But inside, he was screaming. He didn’t even trust himself to touch you again. Didn’t even want to risk it.

You crossed your arms against the cold, his jacket still warm from his body. It was only then you realized—in his rush to pull you out—you’d left everything behind. Your jacket, your purse, your phone... even your damn house keys.

Panic flickered up your spine, quick and mean.

"You made me leave all my stuff behind," you said accusingly, your words wobbling. "What am I supposed to do now, genius?"

Megumi's shoulders stiffened.

"I’ll figure it out," he muttered.

You wanted to hit him. You wanted to scream.

—

She was cold because of you, Megumi thought. She was standing here without a jacket because you pulled her out without giving her the chance to grab her things. Because you couldn’t stomach watching Ino touch her.

Because you couldn’t do a single fucking thing without messing it up.

You shifted uncomfortably beneath the weight of his coat, and Megumi glanced back toward the restaurant—jaw tight, throat working.

You’d left everything. Your phone. Your purse. Your house keys. Even your damn jacket.

He could take you back, let you go in, get what you needed. You deserved that, at the very least.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

The thought of Ino still sitting at that table—smirking, buzzed, smug, maybe even brave enough to pull you back down beside him—sent a hard, nauseous twist through Megumi’s stomach.

He didn’t trust himself not to lose it.

So he pulled out his phone instead, typing out a quick message to Nobara:

[ hey. she left her shit at the restaurant. grab it before you go? i’ll pick it up in the morning. ]

A moment later, the read receipt popped up.

[ sure. you owe me. ]

He slid the phone back into his pocket and looked at you.

You stared at him, confused and blinking through the drunken haze.

He didn’t answer.

A minute later, he ordered a cab.

—

The car rolled up to the curb a few minutes later.

Megumi opened the door, gesturing stiffly for you to get in first. You stumbled, nearly missing the step up into the backseat. The ravenette was there instantly, steadying you with a hand on your lower back—but he jerked away again like he'd been burned the second you were inside.

He gave the driver his address without hesitation.

You blinked at him, still confused.

"My place," he said shortly. "You’re not getting into your apartment without keys."

You opened your mouth to argue, but the seat was warm and you were so tired, and it was so much easier to just slump against the window and close your eyes.

—

The ride was short but suffocating.

You could feel Megumi beside you, rigid as a statue, tension rolling off him in waves. His hands stayed firmly planted on his thighs the entire time, clenched into white-knuckled fists.

When the cab pulled up to his building, Megumi got out first, circling quickly around to your door.

You hesitated before climbing out, legs wobbly in your heels, the cold sinking deeper through your skin despite his jacket wrapped around you.

"Goddammit," Megumi muttered under his breath.

The stairs to his apartment loomed ahead.

You squared your shoulders, stubborn, trying to prove some kind of point. But your heel caught on the very first step and the world lurched sideways beneath you, your ankle buckling.

Strong hands caught you before you could hit the ground.

Megumi exhaled through his nose, long and slow.

"You're impossible," he muttered under his breath.

You blinked up at him, dizzy. “You’re the one who—”

“I know,” he bit out, frustrated. “I know.”

Before you could say anything else, he bent low, one arm behind your knees, the other at your back—and lifted you.

“Megumi—”

“Just—don’t.” His tone was tight. Controlled. But there was heat simmering underneath, wild and cracked and guilty as hell.

You wanted to fight him. You wanted to cry. You hated how safe you felt, pressed against him—despite your rage, despite your confusion—curling unconsciously closer, cheek resting against the steady rise and fall of his chest.

He smelled like cedar and clean soap. Like safety. Like someone you’d once known well and now couldn’t reach.

He didn’t look down at you once—carring you all the way to the third floor, barely breathing heavily, his jaw locked tight.

At his door, he shifted you higher against his chest with a grunt and somehow managed to fish out his keys. The door swung open, spilling the familiar, clean scent of his apartment into the hallway.

He set you down carefully just inside the entryway.

The moment your feet hit the ground, you swayed dangerously again.

With a frustrated sigh, Megumi guided you toward the couch, his hand at your waist, keeping you upright.

You collapsed into the cushions with a groan, burying your face in his jacket still draped around your shoulders.

He hovered for a second, clearly unsure what to do.

You lifted your head just enough to glare at him, mascara smudged slightly beneath your eyes.

"Why do you even care?" you muttered, voice raw. "You don't even like me anymore."

Megumi tensed.

"You don't even look at me," you mumbled. "You don't talk to me. You don’t want me around."

The words hung between you—heavy, accusing, bitter.

He opened his mouth.

Closed it.

A beat passed. Then two.

You laughed, short and sharp, and turned your face away from him.

“Thought so,” you whispered, curling into the couch.

You didn’t see the way he looked at you after. Didn’t see the way his fingers curled tight at his sides like he wanted to reach for you—but wouldn’t let himself.

You were already asleep.

—

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was the smell.

Crisp, clean, familiar—cedar and soap and something warm underneath.

The second thing was that you weren’t on the couch anymore.

You blinked against the low citylight leaking through the curtains, heart thudding heavily in your ears as you sat up slowly. Megumi’s bed was bigger than yours—neat, sparse, a simple navy comforter tucked tight around you. His jacket had slipped halfway off your shoulders in your sleep, cool silk brushing against your skin.

You were still in your dress. Barefoot.

The room was silent. Heavy.

You pushed the jacket back up around your shoulders and slipped out of the bed, the cool floor making you shiver.

Somewhere past the half-open door, you heard it—the faint, broken rhythm of someone's breathing.

Careful, quiet, you padded down the short hallway until you reached the living room.

And there he was.

Megumi sat hunched on the couch, elbows braced against his knees, head cradled in his hands. The thin cotton of his t-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders, the tense line of his back rigid with something you couldn't quite name. His legs were spread wide, his long frame taking up most of the space—a tall, powerful body crammed uncomfortably into a small seat he clearly hadn’t been able to sleep in.

For a second, you just watched him.

He was so much bigger now than when you’d first met years ago—taller, broader in every sense. Even folded over like this, he still took up too much space. It hit you all at once: how much he'd grown, how different he was, how painfully far away he seemed now.

"Megumi?" you called softly.

He jerked upright, hands flying off his head, his whole body tensing like he'd been caught doing something wrong.

His face—God, his face.

There was a flush blooming under his cheekbones, hot and sharp against his pale skin. His mouth pressed into a hard, thin line, and he couldn't meet your eyes.

"You should be resting," he murmured, voice low.

You took a tentative step closer. "I woke up and... I was confused. Why did you move me to your bed?"

He hesitated, fingers clenching into fists. "You were uncomfortable," he muttered, voice rough, not looking at you. "On the couch. Figured... the bed would be better."

You shifted awkwardly, hugging his jacket tighter around yourself. "And you?"

Megumi grimaced. "I'm fine."

You glanced down at the cramped, sagging couch, trying to imagine someone as tall and built as him trying to fold himself into it for the night. Your throat tightened painfully.

"You gave me your bed... and you took this?" you said, voice cracking slightly.

He still wouldn't look at you.

"I—" he started, then broke off, dragging a hand through his hair. "Doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter?" you repeated, a bitter little laugh escaping before you could stop it. "Then why won’t you even look at me?"

Finally, he did.

And what you saw there—wild guilt, raw frustration, something worse lurking underneath—nearly knocked the breath from your lungs.

You took a step closer, heart hammering.

"What did I do?" you asked, voice wobbling. "Tell me, Megumi. What did I do that's so awful you can't even stand to be around me anymore?"

He flinched, like you’d slapped him.

"Nothing," he said hoarsely. "You didn’t do anything. It’s me."

You shook your head, fighting tears. "Then what? What’s so bad?"

He opened his mouth—and for a long, awful second, no sound came out.

Then, low and broken:

"You're in my bed," he said, almost to himself, like he couldn't believe it. "Wearing that—" his hands clenched tightly, knuckles white. "Smelling like you do. And I can't fucking stop—"

You froze.

Your heart thudded, confused. "Stop what?"

His whole body radiated tension, like he was holding himself together by sheer force of will.

"I can't stop wanting you," Megumi ground out. "Even when I don't have the right to. Even when I know it would ruin everything."

You stared at him, mouth dry, vision swimming.

And that’s when you noticed.

The heavy bulge tenting the front of his jeans, straining against the fabric, painfully obvious now that he was sitting back against the couch cushions. His thighs were spread wide, like even now he couldn’t hide how wrecked he was.

Your stomach twisted sharply. Heat bloomed between your legs—and then just as quickly, cold fear.

Because if he wanted you, why was he acting like this? Why was he avoiding you, treating you like you were some burden he couldn't wait to unload?

The tears you'd been holding back finally slipped free.

Megumi stiffened instantly at the broken sound you made.

"No," he said, alarmed, standing up so fast the couch squeaked. "No, don't—shit, don't cry—"

You stumbled back a step, brushing your cheeks angrily. "You hate me," you said, the words tumbling out half-sob, half-accusation. "You’re disgusted with me and I don’t even know why—"

"I'm not," he said fiercely, crowding closer without even thinking. "I'm not disgusted with you. I could never—"

You hiccuped through a shaky breath, clutching his jacket tighter around your shoulders.

"Then why?"

Megumi raked a hand through his hair again, looking wild, desperate.

"Because I want you," he said, voice ragged. "Because I'm not supposed to. Because you're drunk, and you're hurting, and if I touch you it’s just—it's wrong."

You blinked up at him, tears shining in your wide eyes.

"But you’re hurting me anyway," you whispered.

And that—that—split him wide open.

He cursed under his breath, stepping back like he was physically restraining himself. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. His chest heaved with every breath.

"I'm sorry," he rasped. "I’m so fucking sorry."

You stared at him, breathing hard, jacket slipping off one bare shoulder.

Megumi’s eyes flicked down—then snapped away, jaw locking tight.

He looked like he was about to break.

"I'm sorry," he said again, quieter this time, almost to himself.

You stood there, wavering, hugging his jacket around your shoulders like an armor. Your lip trembled, your eyes shining, and Megumi thought he might throw up from the way it made his chest tighten painfully.

He took a slow breath, forcing his voice steady.

"Please," he said, the word scraping raw in his throat, "go back to bed. We can... talk in the morning."

You stared at him like you didn’t believe him, like you were trying to read something from his face that he didn’t know how to hide. And maybe you could—maybe you always could, that was the problem—but still, you stayed frozen there, shivering slightly, the silk hem of your dress brushing against your thighs in the draft.

Megumi felt like his body was locked in place. His hands fisted uselessly at his sides, nails biting into the heels of his palms. His cock was still hard—achingly, miserably hard—straining against the waistband of his pants, throbbing in time with his heartbeat.

He deserved it. He deserved to sit there with this shame crawling under his skin, with his body betraying him at the worst possible moment, with the sight of you crying burned into his fucking memory.

He clenched his jaw and forced himself to stay still, to stay silent, to stay contained.

Because if he let himself speak, he knew it wouldn’t come out right. If he let himself move, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop.

You blinked at him, chest rising and falling in uneven breaths, and Megumi squeezed his eyes shut for a second, trying to pull himself back together.

"Please," he said again, softer now, pleading. "Just... just go back to bed."

Maybe—maybe if you slept, maybe if you forgot enough of tonight, he could fix it in the morning. Pretend none of this happened. Pretend he was still the responsible one, the one who could be trusted not to ruin everything just because he couldn’t get a fucking grip on himself.

He opened his eyes and found you still standing there.

For a terrible second, he thought you were going to stay, going to push, going to ask him for something he couldn't, shouldn't give you.

But then you blinked slowly, wiped at your cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket, and without a word, turned and padded back down the hallway toward his bedroom.

Megumi stayed frozen in the living room until he heard the soft creak of the mattress as you climbed back into bed.

Then, and only then, did he let himself move.

He sagged onto the couch like the strings holding him up had been cut, head falling into his hands. His cock was still painfully hard, a pulse of need that throbbed through him with every breath, but he didn’t touch himself. He didn’t even consider it.

No.

He deserved this.

He deserved to sit here, miserable and aching, with the weight of his own self-disgust settling heavier and heavier across his shoulders.

Every heartbeat was punishment. Every shallow breath, every twitch of his muscles.

This was what he deserved for letting you get close enough to hurt. For being weak enough to want you. For making you cry.

He stayed like that, head bowed between his hands, until the first pale threads of morning light began to creep through the cracks in the blinds.

—

You woke up slowly.

The first thing you noticed was the dull, pounding ache behind your eyes, like someone had stuffed your skull with cotton and wrapped it too tight. The second was the heavy warmth of the comforter over you, the faint scent of soap and cedar sinking into your skin.

Megumi’s scent.

You shifted, muscles stiff and aching, and only then realized you were still wearing last night's dress—rumpled now, the hem twisted high around your thighs. Megumi’s jacket was still draped over your shoulders, half-off, half-on, swallowing you up in worn fabric and the echo of him.

You pushed yourself upright with a groan, blinking blearily at the morning light bleeding in through the curtains. Everything hurt—your head, your throat, your pride.

And the memories—

They floated up slowly, sickly, filling your chest with something thick and sour.

The fight. The crying. The way Megumi had looked at you—gutted, guilty, refusing to touch you even when you had all but begged for answers.

You pulled his jacket closer around yourself, cold despite the sunlight, your heart thudding unevenly as you swung your legs over the side of the bed.

The apartment was silent.

For a second you just sat there, gathering yourself, dread pooling low and heavy in your stomach.

Then, cautiously, you stood.

Your bare feet made no sound against the floor as you padded toward the door, jacket trailing behind you like a shield. The hallway seemed longer than it had last night, every step loud in your ears.

You found him in the kitchen.

Megumi stood by the counter, his back to you, hunched slightly like he hadn’t slept at all. His hair was a mess, tangled at the roots like he’d run his hands through it a thousand times. His hands were braced on the edge of the sink, knuckles pale with the pressure.

He must have heard you—but he didn’t turn around.

You hovered by the counter, nerves scraping raw inside your skin, your voice catching in your throat.

"Morning," you said, voice hoarse.

He flinched.

It was subtle—just the barest tension running up his shoulders—but you caught it, and it made something twist painfully inside you.

Slowly, Megumi straightened. His fingers drummed once, twice, against the counter before he finally turned to face you.

You almost wished he hadn’t.

There were dark shadows under his eyes, tension carved deep into the lines of his face. He looked—wrecked. Like he’d fought a battle with himself all night and lost.

He opened his mouth—then closed it again, jaw tightening.

You swallowed hard, clutching his jacket tighter around yourself.

"I remember," you said, voice small. "Not everything, but... enough."

A beat of silence stretched between you—long and sharp and unbearable.

Megumi shifted his weight, his broad frame seeming even bigger in the tight space of the kitchen, dwarfing everything. His arms crossed over his chest—defensive, protective, like he was trying to physically hold himself back.

"You were drunk," he said finally, voice rough. "It doesn't matter."

You let out a shaky breath. "It matters to me."

He looked at you then—really looked—and you hated how much it hurt. Hated how much guilt and self-loathing you could see bleeding out of him, barely restrained.

"You’re mad at me," you said quietly, not a question.

"No," he said immediately, too fast, too sharp. "I'm mad at myself."

You blinked, confused.

"I made you cry," Megumi said, the words like gravel dragging out of his chest. "I hurt you. That’s on me."

You took a step closer, careful, feeling the heat radiating off his body even from a foot away.

"You didn’t hurt me," you said. "You just... confused me."

His mouth twisted, bitter and miserable.

"I can’t—I can’t want you like that," he said, voice low and cracked. "It’s not right."

Your breath caught.

"Why?" you whispered.

He turned away again, bracing his hands on the counter, bowing his head.

"Because you’re drunk," he muttered. "Because you’re my friend. Because you deserve better than—"

"Stop," you said, sharper than you meant.

He froze.

You stepped closer until you were right behind him, close enough to touch, close enough to feel the tension vibrating through him like a wire pulled taut.

"I’m sober now," you said. "And I know what I want."

He let out a rough, broken laugh—one that sounded more like a sob.

"It’s not that simple."

"Why not?"

He turned then, so suddenly you flinched. His hands caught your arms—careful, barely touching, like he was afraid he might hurt you just by holding on too tight.

"Because if I let myself have you," he said, voice raw and shaking, "I'll get too greedy."

Your heart slammed against your ribs.

You stared up at him—at the storm raging in his dark eyes, at the way his fingers trembled against your skin—and for the first time in what felt like forever, you saw the truth clearly.

This wasn’t indifference. It wasn’t disgust. It was need.

Fierce and desperate and so long denied that it had festered into something wild inside him.

Your hands lifted without thinking, tangling in the front of his t-shirt.

"I can be greedy too," you whispered.

Megumi made a strangled sound—something halfway between a groan and a curse—and dropped his forehead against yours.

He was trembling.

"You don’t know what you’re asking," he breathed.

"I do."

"You’ll hate me."

"I could never."

Megumi’s breath stuttered against your skin, the heat of him leaking through every careful inch where he wasn't quite touching you. His fingers curled tight in the fabric of your borrowed jacket, and you could feel how badly he was shaking—like he was fighting himself at every breath.

"You'll hate me," he whispered again, voice cracked and low, like the confession cost him something he couldn't get back.

You stared up at him, heart thudding too fast, your mind scrambling to make sense of the words—to shove them into a box you could understand.

Hate him? For what? Was it really that simple?

You swallowed, heart lurching painfully—but you still didn’t quite get it. Didn't see the war he was losing inside his own chest.

Instead, you gave a shaky little laugh, trying to lighten the crackling tension choking the air between you.

"I mean…" you started, teasing, trying for levity, "if you’re just talking about sex, Megumi... we can make that work."

Megumi froze—went so still you thought maybe he'd stopped breathing.

You blinked at him, confused, startled by the sudden intensity in his eyes. Dark, wild, burning like a fuse had finally hit the powder.

"I’m serious," you said quickly, heart hammering harder.

You smiled, a little awkward, a little too bright. "I mean... it's not like I never thought about it," you joked, nudging at the tension with a clumsy, hangover drenched bravery. "You're hot, Megumi. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t... you know. Thought about it. Back in high school. Still do, sometimes. And if this is just... you know, a physical thing, that’s fine. We’re adults. We can be smart about it."

You winced internally the second the words left your mouth—but it was too late. They hung there, stupid and weightless, in the heavy, aching air between you.

Megumi's jaw clenched so hard you saw the muscle jump. His hands flexed uselessly at his sides, like he didn't know what to do with them. His whole body was wound tight, every inch of him vibrating with something you didn’t know how to name.

You thought you did, though.

You thought it was guilt. Fear. Worry about crossing a line you couldn't uncross.

You mistook the devastated look in his eyes for hesitation—for regret—instead of what it really was: need, thick and choking and helpless.

You pressed on before he could retreat fully, heart thudding painfully.

"I'm not gonna freak out," you said quickly, voice softening. "If it's just sex, it's just sex. I don’t want to lose you over something stupid. We’re friends first, right? We can... figure it out."

You meant it. You meant every word. You would rather give him this, would rather let your heart ache quietly in your own chest, than lose him altogether. You could handle it. You could be smart. You could keep it simple if that’s what he needed.

So you smiled—small and earnest and maybe a little shaky—thinking you were offering him something safe.

Megumi made a rough, broken sound in the back of his throat and turned away, raking both hands through his hair like he wanted to tear it out at the roots.

Your stomach twisted, misreading it entirely.

You thought he was trying to resist. You thought he was scared of ruining what you had—the ease, the history, the friendship built over years.

You didn’t realize he was breaking apart because he knew he couldn’t pretend it would ever be casual. Not with you.

Still, you didn't want him to spiral alone in whatever guilt or shame he was carrying.

"Just... think about it," you said, softer now, stepping closer, your fingers brushing lightly over his sleeve. "You don't have to decide right now. I just... I don’t want you to feel bad. I’m not gonna hate you."

He turned his head slightly—just enough that you caught the shadowed edge of his profile. His lips were pressed into a hard, miserable line, like he was swallowing back something sharp and dangerous.

Megumi stared at you like you’d just offered him a loaded gun and told him to aim it at his own heart. Like you didn’t even know what you were asking him to survive.

But he didn’t say anything.

He didn’t correct you.

Maybe he couldn't.

His fingers just flexed uselessly at his sides. His throat bobbed in a rough swallow. His jaw was so tight you could see the muscle ticking in the hollow beneath his ear.

He couldn't breathe around you. Couldn't think. Couldn't even stand there another second without feeling like he was going to tear himself apart.

Finally, he muttered, hoarse and rough, "I need to go get your stuff. Nobara has it."

You blinked at him, a little thrown by the sudden change of subject, but you nodded anyway, giving him a small, shaky smile he didn’t see because he was already reaching for his keys.

"I’ll be quick," he added, already moving toward the door like the apartment was on fire and he needed to escape before he got caught in the blaze. "Stay here. Take a shower. Eat something. Wear whatever you want."

You stared at his back, your heart thudding unevenly, confused and stinging all over.

"After that... I’ll drive you home."

You nodded slowly, even though he wasn’t looking at you.

At the door, Megumi hesitated, one hand braced against the frame, the other clenching around the keys, the metal denting the flesh of his palm.

His shoulders stiffened, and he said, almost too quietly:

"I’m taking the bike. It’ll be faster."

You opened your mouth—not sure what you were going to say—but he cut you off before you could even breathe.

"Your dress," he said, voice tight, still refusing to turn around. "It’s not... it’s not bike-appropriate."

There was something almost broken in the way he said it. Like it wasn’t just about the logistics. Like if you climbed on behind him wearing that little slip of silk and nothing else, he wasn’t sure he'd make it back in one piece.

You stood there frozen, jacket swallowing your frame, lips parted and unsure, while Megumi finally forced himself out the door — pulling it closed behind him with a soft, definitive click.

You stared at the wood a long moment after he was gone, heart hammering hard and helpless in your chest.

The apartment buzzed with silence. Heavy, humming, full of words you hadn't been brave enough to say.

You hugged his jacket closer around yourself—the scent of him sinking into your skin—and let yourself skin to the floor, your knees pulling to your chest, the cold of the hardwood bleeding through your bare legs.

For the first time all morning, you realized:

Maybe you hadn’t understood anything at all.

—

The door clicked shut behind Megumi as he stepped back into his apartment, your bag and jacket slung over one shoulder, a plastic to-go container from the ramen place clutched in his other hand—some mercy from Nobara he hadn’t asked for.

He moved on autopilot at first—slipping the keys back into his pocket, toeing off his shoes—until his gaze caught, snagging helplessly on the figure moving across the kitchen.

Soft morning light spilled through the large window to his balcony, pooling across the counters, catching the slight sway of your body as you shifted from one foot to the other. You moved carefully around the stove, stirring the contents of a pan with a spatula, the buttery smell of cooking eggs soft in the air—smothered under the domesticity you’d stitched into his kitchen like a thread he hadn't noticed pulling tight.

And you were wearing his clothes.

An oversized black t-shirt hung loose on your frame, the neckline dipping slightly but clinging just enough to stay in place, soft cotton brushing the delicate line of your collarbones. His gray sweatpants sat low on your hips, cinched tight with the drawstring, the extra fabric pooling at your ankles in lazy folds, right down to where your socked feet met the floor.

You looked small like that. Warm. Not just because the clothes dwarfed you, but because you made them look soft, lived-in—like you belonged to them. To him.

You glanced up when you heard the door, offering him a cautious, wobbly smile—so soft, so unsure—like you were ready for him to push you away again.

Like you were still trying to give him a safe out.

Megumi’s fingers tightened unconsciously around the strap of your bag.

"Hey," you said, tucking a strand of damp hair behind your ear, voice pitched soft. "I made you something."

You gestured toward the pan, where a half-folded omelette was browning gently at the edges. He could smell it from where he stood—eggs, cheese, something savory and sharp tucked inside.

You remembered. You always remembered the small, stupid things he never said out loud—like how he preferred salty over sweet in the mornings, how heavy breakfasts made him nauseous, how he took his coffee black without ever complaining about it.

The lump that formed in his throat was sudden and vicious.

He forced himself forward, dropping your bag by the door, setting the container carefully on the table without really registering the motion. His body moved on instinct, trying to pretend normalcy, trying to suffocate the riot building under his ribs—one heavy step, then another—until he was close enough to reach you if he dared.

You watched him—guarded but hopeful—twisting your fingers absently in the hem of the too-long t-shirt. Then it hit him.

The scent.

Subtle at first, creeping under the buttery heat of the kitchen, but impossible to miss once it reached him. You smelled like him.

His soap, his shampoo—cedar and musk, brightened faintly by the citrus edge he'd stopped noticing years ago—soaked into your skin, into the damp ends of your hair, familiar in a way that left no oxygen in his lungs.

You had washed yourself in him. You weren't just wearing his clothes. You weren’t just standing in his kitchen. You were wearing him. You were wound into his life now—sewn into places he hadn't even realized were empty until you filled them.

That knowledge sank its claws deep.

It was unbearable.

It was beautiful.

It was going to kill him.

He clenched his fists once at his sides, willing the heat roaring under his skin to die down, to give him some semblance of control—but it was useless. His hands itched to touch you. His mouth ached to say things he shouldn’t even think.

It was worse than before. So much worse.

Because now he knew you wanted him—even if it was just a flicker, a clumsy admission, a casual offer you’d made thinking it would be simple.

You smiled at him again, smaller this time—cautious, uncertain.

The soft curve of your mouth, the way his t-shirt swallowed your frame, the fact that you smelled like his fucking soul—it twisted something brutal deep inside him.

And Megumi knew, in some awful, bone-deep way, that he would take it. He would take whatever you offered him—even if it ripped him apart from the inside out.

Still, he forced himself to move.

"I’m gonna take a shower," he muttered, voice rough and low, already backing toward the hallway. "Then I’ll drive you home."

You opened your mouth—maybe to protest, maybe to ask him something else—but he didn’t give you the chance. He turned away before he could see the look on your face, the soft, confused crumpling of your expression—disappearing down the hallway like a man fleeing a fire he couldn't outrun.

Megumi hated himself for putting that look on your face.

It was cowardice. But if he stayed—if he let himself sit across from you, smelling like him, wearing his clothes, smiling at him like he hadn’t already broken something essential between you—he would crack open entirely.

And there wouldn’t be any putting himself back together after that.

—

The bathroom door clicked closed behind him.

Megumi leaned heavily against it for a second, head bowed, breathing ragged.

He shed his clothes like they were burning him, stepping under the scalding spray without looking at himself in the mirror. The water pounded against his skin, steam curling up around him in thick, smothering clouds—but it did nothing to drown the ache rooted low in his gut.

He scrubbed at his hair, at his skin, trying to wash away the ghost of you—the sweet, clinging imprint of your body in his clothes, your voice still echoing inside his chest.

He couldn’t. He never would.

He twisted the tap off when the water ran cold and grabbed a towel, roughing it over his hair with more force than necessary. His body was tight with frustration—blood still hot and heavy in his veins, his cock stirring half-hard again at the memory of you in his kitchen, socked feet and sweet and his in ways you didn’t even understand.

He wrapped another towel low around his hips and shoved the door open—still toweling his hair dry, eyes half-closed—when he froze.

You were sitting on his bed. Waiting for him.

The comforter was twisted around you, your legs tucked under your body, a stubborn pout blooming on your mouth as you glared at the doorway like it had personally offended you. Your damp hair clung to your temples, messy and soft.

You looked... furious. Frustrated. And so heartbreakingly beautiful he thought he might actually fall to his knees.

Megumi’s brain short-circuited.

He stopped breathing.

You blinked at him, wide-eyed, your gaze catching—and sticking—low on his body, on the way the towel around his hips barely hung there, still damp from the shower, clinging to the hard lines of his waist, the ridges of muscle cut low across his abdomen. Water still beaded at his throat, trailing down the tense lines of his chest.

You swallowed—visibly—your breath hitching.

And then—

The barest flicker of want flashed across your face—raw and unguarded and so blindingly obvious it punched the air from his lungs.

And when your eyes lifted again, locking onto his—

It was over.

His cock hardened instantly—painfully—straining against the towel, throbbing with brutal, humiliating urgency, blood flooding south so fast it left him dizzy.

You caught the movement—the twitch, the thickening at the front of the fabric—and your lips parted, your breath hitching almost silently, thighs pressing together instinctively where you sat on his bed.

Megumi’s whole body locked up.

For a second, neither of you moved. The air was thick, humming, heavy enough to drown in.

And in that frozen heartbeat—

Megumi realized he was done.

There was no guarding himself anymore. No holding back. Not when you looked at him like you wanted him. Not when every trembling, uncertain beat of your heart was written across your face.

He was already drowning. He may as well let you pull him under.

—

He moved before he could think—before caution, before guilt, before anything but you existed in his blood. One step, then another, until he stood at the edge of the bed, the space between you crackling like a live wire.

You blinked up at him, your pout slipping into something softer—questioning, uncertain—but you didn’t move away. You didn’t run.

You just looked at him—chest rising and falling in slow, shallow breaths, damp hair framing your face—waiting.

Megumi dropped the towel from his hips with a dull thud against the floor. There was no ceremony in it—no attempt to hide the way his cock strained heavy and flushed between his thighs, already leaking at the tip, already so hard it hurt. But he didn’t reach for you with it. He didn’t even touch it himself.

You stared—your breath catching sharply in your throat.

The scars were impossible to miss.

But they were there.

They would always be there.

And still—he was beautiful.

More beautiful than anything you’d ever seen.

You leaned back into the bed, your hands curling loosely into the sheets beside you—an unconscious invitation.

He, instead, reached for the hem of the t-shirt you wore—his shirt—curling his fingers carefully into the soft fabric, pausing just long enough for you to nod once, almost imperceptibly.

He peeled it up over your body, baring you inch by inch.

No bra, just smooth, warm skin—the soft swell of your breasts, the gentle slope of your waist. His hands trembled slightly where they brushed your sides, fighting the instinct to grab, to worship, to fall apart.

He tossed the shirt aside without looking, gaze locked on you like you were something sacred.

Then his hands slid lower—slow, reverent—tugging at the waistband of the sweats you’d borrowed.

You lifted your hips automatically, helping him, and the pants slid down easily, crumpling at your ankles. He knelt briefly, steadying himself with one hand on your calf, the other working to peel the fabric free.

That’s when he saw the socks still clinging to your feet.

A muscle ticked sharply in his jaw—something raw and restless flashing across his face.

He hated it—hated leaving anything between you. Hated the barrier of it, the wrongness of something so small when the rest of you was already laid bare before him.

He hooked his fingers into the cuffs, tugging them down carefully one at a time, leaving you completely naked in front of him. Vulnerable. Beautiful.

You shifted slightly, propping yourself up on your elbows, watching him with wide eyes, your breath coming a little faster now.

Megumi sat back on his heels, dragging his gaze up the beautiful lines of your body—the soft curves, the warm flush blooming across your chest, the way your thighs pressed together instinctively under his stare.

That's when he noticed. You weren’t wearing panties.

You must have folded them away with your dress from last night—leaving yourself dressed only in him, in his scent, in his space.

It undid him.

He crawled up onto the bed, straddling your hips lightly, his hands bracing on either side of your head. His hair dripped faintly onto your skin, dark and wild across his forehead, casting shadows across his desperate, wrecked face.

He cupped your cheek, rough thumb brushing your skin, his expression cracking wide open—reverent, starving.

"Need you," he rasped, voice raw, before crushing his mouth to yours.

The kiss was messy—desperate—all teeth and tongue and broken sounds.

You whimpered into him, arching helplessly, your hands flying up to fist into his still-damp hair, pulling him closer, needing more, needing everything.

Megumi groaned low in his chest—a hungry, guttural sound—as he kissed you harder, tilting your head back, his mouth sliding hot and open against yours. He kissed you like he was drowning. Like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth.

"Fuck, baby," he gasped against your mouth, panting, "feel so good... so fucking good."

He kissed down your jawline, your throat, mapping every inch of skin with his lips, his teeth—hungry, possessive. His hands roamed greedily, skimming over your waist, your hips, your ribs—leaving nothing untouched.

"Mine," he whispered against your collarbone—low and rough and barely audible.

You shivered, clutching at his shoulders, nails digging into the hard lines of muscle beneath your palms.

He worshipped your breasts next—kissing over the soft curves, mouthing at your nipples until they peaked under his tongue, drawing gasps and helpless moans from your lips.

"Fuck," Megumi groaned, scraping his teeth lightly against sensitive skin, "could spend forever on you, pretty girl."

Your legs fell open without thinking, hips canting up against him, desperate for more friction, for more of him—anything he would give.

He kissed down your stomach—lingering over the dip of your navel, the soft curve of your hip bones—leaving open-mouthed kisses along the inside of your thighs until you were shaking under him.

"So perfect," he muttered, voice hoarse, hot against your skin. "Gonna make you scream for me, baby. Gonna ruin you."

You whimpered—a broken, wrecked sound—and Megumi’s hands slid under your thighs, spreading you wider, lifting you toward his mouth.

You gasped softly as he bent down, pressing his mouth to the inside of your thigh, inhaling the clean, dizzying scent of your skin. He pressed another kiss higher, then another, slow and deliberate, until his nose brushed the tender crease where your thigh met your hip.

You were already wet—glistening faintly in the low light, the smell of you thick and sweet in the air between you.

And then he buried his mouth against you—tongue flattening against your soaked pussy, licking a slow, filthy stripe up your dripping folds. He groaned against you—the sound vibrating straight into your bones—and licked again, deeper, hungrier.

"You taste..." he muttered into your cunt, voice wrecked, "...fuck, baby, taste so fucking good... like you’re made for me."

You cried out, thighs trembling, head tossing back against the mattress as his mouth worked you open—his tongue fucking into you, circling your clit in devastating patterns that made your whole body shudder.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling, clutching, desperate for something to anchor you.

"Please," you gasped, voice wrecked, "Megumi—!”

You jerked, a soft, but he only held you steady—hands braced under your thighs, locking you in place as he devoured you like a man starved.

"That's it," he rasped against your cunt. "Give it to me. Let me hear you."

His tongue was relentless—flicking, swirling, tracing maddening circles around your clit, dipping down to fuck into your dripping heat and back again. Every sound you made—every breathless little whimper, every shuddering gasp—sank into his blood, pulling him deeper, deeper.

He could have lived with his mouth between your thighs forever.

Could have drowned there, if you let him.

You moaned—high, broken—your hips grinding helplessly into his mouth as he licked you harder, faster, losing himself completely in you.

He rutted against the mattress without even thinking—humping slow, desperate circles against the sheets—chasing the friction he needed like a man starved.

Your fingers twisted into the sheets—into his hair—tugging, clutching, as your thighs trembled around his head.

And Megumi—God, Megumi—he was dizzy with it, overwhelmed by the taste of you, the heat of you, the desperate slick noises filling the air as he licked you messily, sloppily, building you higher and higher until—

You broke—with a soft, shattered cry.

And when you came—when you sobbed his name and clutched his head between your thighs, trembling and wrecked—he followed.

Spilling hot against the mattress, undone by nothing but your taste, your sounds, your smell.

It was messy—his body locking up with the force of it—and it still wasn’t enough. It wasn’t even close to enough.

But he was wrung out. Hollowed. Broken open in a way he didn’t know how to survive.

He slumped forward with a low, exhausted groan, nuzzling his face against your bare hip, arms wrapping loosely around your waist like a lifeline.

You lay there stunned, your body still twitching with aftershocks, your hand falling instinctively to card through his messy, damp hair.

You could feel him trembling still—feel how hard he’d fought to hold himself together and how completely he’d lost, feel the weight of his exhaustion, his surrender.

Still, he didn’t try to fuck you. He didn’t even move to touch himself again—to maybe see if could go another round.

He just pressed closer—snuggling into your skin like he could crawl inside you and stay there forever.

You stared down at him, confusion flickering through the soft haze of afterglow.

Is this... how friends with benefits are supposed to work? you thought vaguely.

Just him... going down on me and falling asleep?

You didn’t understand it.

Didn’t understand how he could be so... so selfless. So unguarded. So Megumi.

But you didn’t push it. Didn’t question it.

You just let your hand drift lower, tracing the broad span of his back—feeling the thick ridges of the scars that marred his ribs, sitting low under his pecs. Another one—brutal, ragged—slashed across his stomach, cutting from one hip to the other, just above his belly button.

You shivered—not from fear, but from memory.

The scars were old now—years healed—but they told stories you couldn’t forget. Stories of possession, of battles he almost didn’t survive.

Your hand hesitated briefly over his stomach, over the brutal scar left where Sukuna’s mouth had once gaped open.

Softly—almost reverently—you smoothed your fingers across it, feeling the uneven texture under your touch.

And when you lifted your gaze, your heart squeezed painfully in your chest.

You knew, if you squinted, you could probably still catch the faint ghost of the ones that had cradled his face—two pale shadows along his right temple, over his eye and along his cheekbone, another one just below his left eye—almost invisible now, healed under Shoko's careful hands.

But they were there.

A ghost of the pain he carried.

A ghost of the boy he had been—and the man he had become.

You tucked the comforter up around his broad shoulders, cocooning both of you in warmth. He stirred slightly—a low, content hum rumbling against your skin—but didn’t wake.

And so you stayed there, tangled together, your fingers gently stroking along the scars and across his soft, dark hair.

Letting him rest. Letting yourself hold onto him, just a little longer.

Wrapped in him. Wrapped in something dangerously close to love.

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wendichester · 3 days ago

Note

it’s me again girl💋

please can I request Cass x Winchester!reader (Sam and deans younger sister) where Sam and Dean are trying to research but reader and Castiel are playing footsies under the table giggling like teenagers

-💌

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ angel in your lap, devil in your smile,

summary. you should be focusing on this really serious, really important research session. but castiel is sitting across from you. and well, you can't help yourselves.

pairing. castiel x winchester!reader genre. fluffy fluff

wordcount. 589

notes / warnings. honestly, such a cute idea. i think I'm falling for cas, slow but god damn steady.

Sam’s got three books open in front of him and still looks pissed.

Dean’s scowling at his laptop like it personally insulted him.

There are post-it notes, empty coffee cups, and one very aggressive stack of lore on ancient Babylonian banishment rituals spread across the war room table.

And then there’s you.

Sitting right across from Castiel, pretending to read.

You flip a page you haven’t actually looked at.

Cas’s foot nudges yours.

You smile into your book.

Another nudge. This time, deliberate. A slow little drag of his boot along the inside of your ankle. You twitch slightly and accidentally let out a breathy giggle.

Dean doesn’t even glance up. “What’s funny?”

“Hmm?” you blink innocently.

He narrows his eyes. “You laughing at our impending doom, or did Cas grow a sense of humor when I wasn’t looking?”

“I am capable of humor,” Castiel says solemnly.

You stifle another laugh. His poker face is immaculate.

Sam groans. “Can we focus, please?”

“Yes, of course,” Cas says. “This is very serious.”

You bite your lip.

Under the table, his foot slides up your calf.

You kick him gently, and he kicks back. It turns into this soft, flirty little tug-of-war under the table — just a touch here, a nudge there — and you can’t stop smiling.

You glance up at him. He’s looking at you like you hung the moon. Like this isn’t just flirting to him — it’s worship.

You have to look back down before Dean starts asking questions.

Too late.

Dean lowers his laptop and gives you a look.

You blink. “What?”

He gestures vaguely between you and Cas. “Why do you look like you just got laid?”

Your mouth opens. Closes. “I—”

“I do not understand the correlation,” Castiel says, ever helpful. “She is smiling. She often smiles after we—”

“OKAY,” Sam barks. “Nope. No. We are not doing this right now.”

Dean leans back in his chair. “You gotta be kidding me.”

You cross your arms. “What, I’m not allowed to be happy?”

“Not with him, you’re not.”

“Dean—”

“He’s an angel!”

“Yeah, and you dated a demon.”

Sam coughs pointedly.

Dean scowls. “Different. Totally different.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t have to sit across from her while she was playing footsies with him during a demonic meltdown!”

Your jaw drops. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew! You’ve got heart eyes the size of Kansas!”

Castiel tilts his head. “That’s not anatomically accurate—”

Dean throws his hands in the air. “This is my life. Ancient demons, horny angels, and my sister giggling like a teenager while we’re trying to stop the apocalypse.”

Sam mutters, “Honestly, kind of impressive.”

Dean shoots him a look.

You clear your throat. “Okay, yes. We were playing footsies. Sue us.”

“You’re not even sorry,” Dean mutters.

Cas looks at you. “Should I be?”

You shake your head, smiling. “Nope.”

Dean slumps back in his chair. “Great. Awesome. My angel’s whipped. My sister’s in love. Sam’s useless. I’m the only one doing any work around here.”

Sam flips a page. “We could banish you and see how that goes.”

“I’m surrounded by traitors.”

You reach under the table and grab Cas’s hand. He squeezes gently, thumb brushing your knuckles.

And yeah, okay, maybe you are smiling like an idiot.

But as Castiel leans in — quiet, close, lips brushing your temple before he goes back to his book — you can’t find it in yourself to feel bad.

Because honestly?

Let the world end.

You’ll go down holding his hand.

ꔛ. navigation 𓂃˖ ࣪ all drabbles ; compatibility readings ; support my work .ᐟ

#castiel #castiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel fluff #castiel fic #spn castiel #castiel spn #supernatural #.docx #.req

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rhiannonsknife · 2 days ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/rhiannonsknife/781365481957359616/imagine-fwb-jackie-and-reader-because-jeff-cant

I loved this one so much. The reader being oblivious of the nasty things that Jackie is thinking about her. The reader doing innocent things that unintentionally gets Jackie so turned on. I don’t know I kind of like the idea of Jackie being a little pervert

last thing i wrote during the road trip the other day but forgot to post because i was too tired!! anyway, i was locked in. nsfw content so mdni.

it’s always the stupidest things, which jackie supposes makes it all so much worse. the things you don’t even think about twice, things that mean nothing to you, but jackie can’t stop thinking about. they burrow into her brain and rot there.

take the public pool.

the team had been doing off-season training, and coach thought it’d be “fun” to break things up with a casual pool day. you showed up late, towel slung over your shoulder, sunglasses perched in your hair, wearing a bikini that wasn’t even that revealing. jackie swears to god it was designed to kill her anyway.

you smiled as you walked along the edge of the pool, dripping wet from a rinse under the outdoor shower. water clung to your skin, catching the sunlight as it trickled down the backs of your legs. she caught herself staring at your thighs as you adjusted the waistband, just an innocent tug of the fabric to keep it from riding up that was enough for her to imagine her fingers between your legs.

jackie couldn’t focus for the rest of the day, her suit clung in all the wrong places, and even when she dipped beneath the surface, the heat didn’t leave her.

later, at home, she barely makes it through the front door before locking herself in the bathroom. swimsuit peeled off, jackie braces her hand against the tile and angles herself so the spray hits against her clit. immediately, her head drops forward and the images play without her permission behind her closed eyes.

you, laughing in the sun, droplets on your collarbone. the bounce of your chest when you ran to catch your towel. the perfect, shining stretch of your thighs.

jackie comes fast, biting down on her arm to stay quiet.

and it doesn’t end at the pool.

there’s that time in your kitchen when you lick frosting off your thumb without thinking, mumbling something about taste-testing the cupcakes. jackie has to excuse herself to the bathroom and doesn’t come out for seven minutes.

or the sleepover where you steal her hoodie and tug it on over your tank top and shorts, your bare legs folded beneath you as you laugh at something on the tv screen. jackie spends the whole night pretending she’s not staring, then fakes sleep so she can lie with her eyes open in the dark, picturing her hands sliding up your thighs under the hem of that borrowed sweatshirt.

instead, jackie’s hand moves under the waistband of her own shorts, fingers working as she imagines your body soft under hers. just sitting by your side made her so wet. in her head, you wake up and ask, gently, do you want me to help?

jackie comes with her forehead pressed to her pillow and rides her orgasm out on her fingers, careful not to shift the bed with the frantic movement.

then there’s school. the morning you arrive late, a little out of breath, brushing your hair from your face with an apologetic smile. you drop into the desk beside hers and jackie turns to greet you, only to see the skirt you’re wearing: short, pleated, legs crossed at the knee. her mouth goes too dry to speak and she doesn’t hear a word the teacher says for the rest of the class.

it’s a miracle she doesn’t start drooling or humping the edge of her chair right then and there.

the next day, you wear jeans and jackie feels a mix of relief and deep, perverse disappointment.

and it only gets worse, because it turns out you can’t stop doing things.

you don’t notice her staring. you don’t realize how tense she gets when you lean in to whisper something in her ear. you don’t ask why her voice falters when you call her “babe” as a joke, or why she sometimes won’t hug you back all the way.

jackie knows it’s fucked up, that she’s being a creep. you trust her. you like her, even. yet, every night, she lies awake thinking about how your lip gloss tasted when you let her try it, or how your skirt flipped up when you jumped into her bed after a movie, or the sound of your voice through the phone, late and sleepy and stupid and perfect.

she doesn’t even always touch herself. sometimes she’ll just lie there, fingers clenched in the sheets until her hips are bucking and she’s dripping wetness onto her blankets at the mere thought of you.

#jackie taylor Ღ #˙🔞 ̟ !! mdni #jackie taylor x reader #jackie taylor x female reader #jackie taylor x you #yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x female reader #yellowjackets x you

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paucubarsisimp · 17 hours ago

Note

reader x oscar where oscar reconnects with a old female friend and kind of neglects reader a little bit, at the beginning y/n gets hurt but ends up deciding to get a male friend to “make things even” so oscar gets really jealous, realizes what he’s been doing and tries to make things right? happy ending pls and maybe don’t make reader forgive him that easily?

second place

pairing: oscar piastri x reader

summary: in which you feel mia is more important than you…

warnings: none

you didn’t expect things to change so quickly.

one minute, you and oscar were solid — late-night facetimes, good luck kisses before qualifying, sleepy grins under hotel duvets. being with him felt like quiet gravity. not loud or dramatic, just right. steady.

and then came mia.

the girl from karting days. the one who could talk race setups and tire strategies in the same breath she joked about oscar’s twelve-year-old mullet.

you weren’t threatened at first. oscar had always been honest. you weren’t insecure.

but it’s hard to stay secure when you go three days without more than a “hey, sorry, busy today” text… and then check instagram to see him tagged in a selfie with her, laughing over sushi.

you didn’t confront him right away. you weren’t that person. you trusted him — or at least, you wanted to.

but when you showed up at the paddock that friday, his reaction said everything.

he didn’t light up the way he used to.

he smiled — polite, distracted. his arm slung around mia’s shoulders like second nature.

you didn’t know whether to feel angry or embarrassed.

maybe both.

you brought it up that night, quietly, after dinner.

“she’s really been around a lot lately.”

oscar shrugged, pulling his shirt over his head. “yeah, she’s doing a piece for f1tv. like, a feature thing. it’s temporary.”

you nodded. “just… feels like you’ve kind of forgotten i exist.”

he froze for a second. “y/n, come on. don’t start this.”

that was what hurt the most — not the time he was spending with her. the fact that he brushed off your pain. as if it wasn’t real.

you went to bed with your back to him. he didn’t reach for you.

you didn’t plan to make him jealous.

you didn’t even think of marcus that way — not at first.

he was the boy who used to walk you home from school, steal fries from your lunch tray, accidentally-on-purpose hold your hand during horror movies.

you hadn’t seen him in years. but when you bumped into him at a café near the paddock, it felt like a reset. like someone was seeing you again.

like you weren’t invisible.

oscar didn’t notice you were smiling more that weekend.

but he did notice marcus.

especially when you invited him to the post-race celebration. especially when marcus leaned close to tell you a joke, and you laughed with your whole body — the way you used to laugh with oscar.

he caught your wrist later that night, voice tense. “is this supposed to be a message?”

you stared at him. “no. but i guess it’s working.”

the fight came two days later.

oscar had been cold. distant. until he snapped.

“so what, you just bring some guy around to get my attention? that’s mature.”

your blood ran hot. “don’t pretend you have the high ground when you’ve been mia’s shadow for three weeks!”

“she’s a friend, y/n!”

“so is marcus! or is it only okay when you’re the one doing the ignoring?”

oscar looked at you like he didn’t recognize you. and you realized — he didn’t. because he hadn’t really seen you in weeks.

“i don’t care about mia,” he said, voice strained.

“but you cared more about making her laugh than asking if i was okay.”

that shut him up.

it took time after that.

oscar started showing up again — really showing up.

small things. bringing you coffee before interviews. watching your face instead of his phone. apologizing, not with flowers, but by listening.

you let him back in slowly. not because he begged — but because he changed.

and one night, while you sat on his balcony overlooking monaco’s coast, his fingers laced with yours, he said:

“i got used to you always being there. like i couldn’t lose you. like you’d always wait.”

you didn’t answer right away.

then: “don’t give me a reason to leave, and i won’t.”

his hand tightened in yours. “you’re not second place. not to anyone. not ever again.”

you believed him. not because he said it — but because this time, he meant it.

taglist: @barcapix, @universefcb, @joaosnovia, @ilovebarcaaaa, @levidazai, lmk if you want to be added!

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bingbongsupremacy · 2 days ago

Text

Post-It Notes

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger!Reader

Warning: None that I can think of

Summary: Steve starts leaving Post-It notes around the compound to encourage the Avengers. You’re the only one who writes back.

Neither of you ever mentions it out loud -but deep down, you know the notes mean more than they should. Are you finding love in the middle of your chaotic life... or are you just misreading Steve’s kindness? +Bonus Stuff at The End (Notes, Steve's Reaction, After you're together)

No details of the reader's appearance, race, weight, etc. Reader is however able-bodied.

*Not Proof Read*

It starts because Steve is trying.

Trying to be better. Trying to be enough.

The compound has been heavy lately. Too many missions, too many close calls, too many days where people come back with haunted eyes and blood on their boots. The usual buzz of laughter and noise has calmed into a tense silence.

Steve sees it, the weight pressing down on all of you. So he starts leaving Post-It notes.

Little things. Encouragements. Reminders that somebody sees you.

"You're stronger than yesterday."

"Thanks for having my six today."

"You matter more than you know."

You find one stuck to your laptop after a long mission, and your chest aches so badly you have to pretend you’re just tired.

Because it’s been a long time since anyone said something like that to you-without expecting something in return.

At first, everyone thinks it’s cute.

There’s teasing. Eye-rolls. Laughter.

Clint wears one on his forehead for half a day. Nat rips one in half and deadpans, “Look, now it's a 'half-assed compliment.'” Sam pins one to a dartboard and throws knives at it for practice.

And slowly, quietly, the notes stop appearing for everyone else.

Not because Steve stops writing them. Because no one answers back.

Except you.

You’re the only one who writes him back. You don't even really mean to, at first. It's instinct- this ache in your chest spilling over in ink.

One morning, when he's busy training with Bucky, you tuck a note under the handle of his shield.

"You’re doing a good job too, you know."

The next day, there's a note waiting on your coffee mug:

"I’m trying. Thank you."

After that, it's just you and him.

A secret conversation nobody else knows about, carried out in scribbled handwriting and curling edges of sticky paper. A secret conversation that's built up to mean a lot for the both of you.

Some mornings you wake up to find one on your door.

"Hope today is kinder to you."

You leave one tucked into the crack of the training room door:

"It never is. But you make it bearable."

The notes shift- slow and tender, almost too tender. You two begin to dive into a different area of your relationship, one deeper and softer. Unexplored territory neither of you have dared to enter before. One that shines light on vulnerability from the both of you.

They start to say the things you’re too afraid to say out loud.

The things that weigh on your mind when the halls are too empty and the world feels too big to survive in. Personal things you've never shared before.

The notes feel like a conversation between different versions of yourselves -the braver, softer ones who aren't so afraid to be seen.

In person, you and Steve never talk about them. You don't acknowledge them. You don't elaborate. You just keep moving through life like the conversation never happened.

But you know.

You both know.

Maybe it’s because the notes make it easier. Easier to open up. Easier to say the things you’re too scared to say out loud.

There’s none of the pressure that comes with looking someone in the eye and trying to be brave. None of the fear that they’ll see right through you -see how fragile you really are underneath it all.

Maybe it's because, deep down, you're still terrified of being vulnerable with another person.

And maybe he is too.

Neither of you really knows how to start the conversation. So you don't try.

You just keep writing.

And somehow, that becomes enough.

Weeks pass.

You almost don't notice when you start carrying the notes in your jacket pocket. It's become something so natural and comforting -a way to cope with the harsh world.

You read them over and over when missions go bad, when your hands are shaking too hard to hold a gun steady, when you feel like you don't deserve to be here. You find comfort in them in the middle of the night when the world is silent, but your mind is not.

The words are always simple.

Never elaborate. Never heavy-handed.

Just real.

And they always find you when you need them the most.

You don't realize how much it means until one day, one awful day, there isn't a note.

Not on your laptop. Not on your door. Not anywhere.

Just silence.

The kind of silence that eats at the hollow spaces inside you.

You try not to let it get to you. You fail.

Maybe it was stupid to think this meant anything.

Maybe you were just a charity case to him.

Maybe you’ve been reading too much into scraps of paper and wishful thinking.

But then, just as you're about to crumble under the weight of it all, you find one.

Not neatly placed, not obvious.

Crumpled. Half-shoved under your door. Like it was left in a hurry. Like he almost couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Your hands tremble as you unfold it. Your heart pounds, nervous to see what's inside.

It's just four words.

Scrawled in handwriting you know better than your own name by now:

"Please don't give up."

You sit down hard on the floor, clutching the note like it’s the only thing anchoring you to the earth.

Because he saw you. Even when you thought no one did.

Because somehow, Steve Rogers, the man who carries the whole damn world on his shoulders, still had room to carry you, too.

That night, you leave him a note.

You don't sign it.

You don't have to. You know he'll know it's you.

You stick it to the outside of his door and pray he finds it before anyone else does.

"I wasn't going to... but only because of you. You make me happy. Steve, you mean the world to me."

You don’t sleep that night, too busy tossing and turning as you anxiously wait to see what happens.

You tell yourself you’re not waiting for a reply.

You tell yourself it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t answer. You're lying.

Morning comes, gray and sluggish, and there's no note waiting for you.

Just a yawning, hollow ache in your chest you can’t quite fill.

You feel disappointed. Maybe you had read the situation wrong. Maybe you shouldn't have exposed your heart so much to the man. It felt right in the moment-natural. But maybe it was too much for the soldier to handle.

You go through the motions anyway. You have to.

Training. Weapon checks. A mission briefing you barely hear.

Oh, the mission debriefing.

You’re sitting across from Steve in the debriefing room, trying to act like nothing’s changed, trying to ignore the way your heart still stutters when you think about the note you left for him. It’s harder than you thought it would be.

He’s sitting there, too -still Steve Rogers, still wearing that perfectly calm, unreadable expression like he’s the last person in the world who could possibly be nervous. You’re probably projecting. He’s probably fine.

You’re not fine.

Your fingers drum softly against the table, your gaze shifting between the notes scattered in front of you, the faces of the other Avengers, the screen showing the mission brief. Anything but him.

It’s been hours since you left the note.

Hours since you put yourself out there, so far out, you almost can’t see the shore.

But here you are, sitting across from him, trying to act like nothing’s changed.

Like, there was no unspoken admission of everything between you in that tiny yellow square of paper.

And he hasn’t said anything.

Neither of you has mentioned it.

You almost wish he would. You almost wish he’d do something, a single glance, a soft laugh, some acknowledgment that the elephant in the room isn’t just suffocating you.

But he doesn’t.

And you’re not sure if that’s worse.

Instead, he’s talking about the mission -mission details, coordinates, all the tactical stuff that’s so second nature to him.

You’re nodding along, your mind only half in the room.

How could it be?

How could you pretend you’re not tangled up in the mess of whatever happened between you two?

You look at Steve -really look at him this time.

He’s focused and determined. Serious.

And yet...

It’s like there’s something in the air between you.

Something that’s heavy, like it’s waiting to fall.

He has to feel it. Right?

But neither of you is going to say anything. Not here. Not now. You don’t know if you’re scared of what it would mean if you did.

Or if he is.

You take a small breath and force your focus back to the mission details. You have to focus. This mission is important, and this is what you do, right? You’re an Avenger. You can compartmentalize, you can handle this. You’ve handled worse. Lives depend on you. You can't fuck up.

That's so much pressure. It's suffocating, stacking on top of the stress with Steve. But there's nothing you can do about it. This is your job.

But it’s harder when the person across from you is Steve Rogers -someone who somehow changed everything with a few quiet notes. Someone who isn’t supposed to make your heart race just by walking into the room. Someone who isn’t supposed to make it feel like the world has stopped just because he didn’t say anything at all.

This is all too much.

A small part of you wonders if you’ve made a mistake. Maybe you shouldn’t have left that note. Maybe you shouldn’t have let yourself be so vulnerable. It was too soon. He's probably weirded out. He probably doesn't feel the same. The friendship is ruined over one little note -a note with big words.

But then the tiniest thing happens.

His hand moves slightly toward the pile of notes in front of him -the ones you left out for the mission brief -and just before he grabs one to make a point, his finger brushes against the corner of your note. You know it’s yours. You can tell by the way the edge is slightly crinkled from being tucked into the pocket of his jacket. The one with your handwriting.

He doesn’t look at it.

He doesn’t acknowledge it.

He just… moves on. Like it's nothing. Like your words were forgettable.

But that small moment? It shatters you.

Because you know, deep down, that he saw it. That he felt it. That the note meant something to him, too. But you’ll never know if it’s the same thing it meant to you.

You bite your lip, trying to keep the flush from creeping up your neck. You can’t look at him. You can’t do this.

But somehow, you do.

Just for a second, your eyes flick to his face. And there it is -just barely visible, a shadow. A flicker. Something in the way his jaw tenses. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe you’re imagining it.

Maybe it's everything.

The words you almost say -the words that almost leave your mouth, they die in your throat, buried by the tightness in your chest. So you keep your gaze low, nodding along with the others, trying to act like the weight of the world isn’t in your heart. Trying to act like everything’s normal, even though it’s not. You know it. He knows it.

And neither of you is brave enough to speak.

Later that afternoon, you're still thinking about it.

And you tell yourself it’s fine. You tell yourself that maybe it meant more to you than it ever did to him. Maybe you made the whole thing up in your head. Maybe—

When you get back to your room, there's a Post-It stuck crookedly to your door.

You stop breathing.

You peel it off with shaking fingers, heart rattling so loud in your ears you almost miss the words.

"Roof. Midnight. — S"

Just that. No smiley face. No little joke.

Just a place and a time, like an order you could disobey but never would.

You almost don't go. You almost convince yourself it’s safer to stay inside, stay in your room, stay tucked away behind all the walls you built around yourself. In here, you can predict what happens next. You'll binge-watch a show and try to drown the pain in your chest with distractions. Out there -on that roof...there's no telling what's next. In here, things are safe.

But the thing is -you don’t want to be safe anymore.

You want him.

You climb the stairs to the roof just before midnight, the compound quiet around you. The sky is clear and sharp above, stars scattered like someone spilled salt across black paint.

He’s already there. Leaning against the railing, looking up at the sky like it’s speaking a language only he understands.

You stop a few feet away. You don’t say anything. Neither does he.

The silence is deafening. And for a second, you think maybe you’ve made a mistake. Maybe he’s here to tell you it was nothing. That you misread everything. Maybe he's here to let you down softly before building up another wall.

You turn the Post-It over and over in your pocket with clammy fingers, wishing you were braver and knew where to start.

But then...he looks at you.

And in that moment, you realize: He’s just as scared as you are. There’s something raw in his eyes. Something almost broken. His face isn't the way it was earlier in the debriefing. His usually calm expression is more tense and nervous.

Slowly, carefully, he reaches into his jacket and pulls out a crumpled stack of yellow notes.

Yours.

Every single one. He kept them. He kept all of them.

Your throat burns.

“I didn’t know how to say it,” Steve says finally, voice rough. He looks down at the notes in his hands. His thumb gently caresses the Post-it note on top of the stack, so careful like they're made of glass. “Any of it.”

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out.

He huffs a laugh -bitter and soft. “I can fight armies. I can stand in front of bullets. But when it comes to you... I just-I didn’t know how to start.” His eyes meet your gaze.

You take a shaky step closer.

The air between you feels electric, thrumming with everything unsaid.

“I didn’t either,” you whisper. “I still don’t.”

His hand tightens around the notes.

"You made it easy," he says. "You made it feel like... maybe it was okay to be scared. As long as I wasn’t alone in it."

You feel something inside you crack, something old and brittle and terrified -and you step forward again until you're close enough to touch.

You’re shaking.

So is he.

Very carefully, like he’s afraid you might shatter, Steve lifts one hand and brushes a knuckle along your cheek.

“You’re not alone,” he says.

And this time -this time, you believe him.

You surge forward and wrap your arms around him, burying your face against his broad chest. His body radiates warmth and comfort. Immediately, you feel safe.

Steve lets out a soft, broken sound and pulls you in tighter, like he's been waiting forever for this.

Neither of you says anything else.

You don't need to.

Because you both know. You always have.

----

Extra's

The Notes

In The Beginning (Before You Respond)

"You’re doing great. Don’t forget to take care of yourself today. — S"

"Coffee's on me. Kitchen, top shelf. — S"

"That report you turned in? Impressive. Don’t sell yourself short. — S"

"Training room at 4? I’ll save you a punching bag. — S"

When You Begin Replying

"Bad day? You’re stronger than you think. — S"

"Sometimes even heroes need a break. Hope you’re giving yourself one. — S"

"Maybe. Sometimes it feels like I'm barely holding it together.

But it helps, knowing someone thinks I can. — You"

"Working on it. (Still figuring out how to not feel guilty when I take one and how to remember.) Thanks for the reminder. — You"

"The way you handled yourself yesterday… you remind me why I believe in people. — S"

"I don't always believe in myself. It means more than I can say that you do. Thank you. Really. — You"

When Feelings Develop and Vulnerabilities are Shared

"Some nights I wake up gasping. Still stuck in old battles that aren't mine anymore. Hard to remember I’m safe. — S"

"You’re not alone. I still get nightmares too -about mistakes, about people I couldn’t save. It doesn’t mean we’re weak. It means we remember. — You"

"I think the fact you worry about it means you won’t. You care too much. You feel too much. That’s what saves you. — You"

"I worry sometimes that remembering makes me dangerous.

Like I’m just waiting to crack apart. — S"

"I never learned how to ask for help. Old habits die hard, I guess. But lately... I think I'd like to try. — S"

"You don't have to do it alone anymore. You never did. (I'm still learning too. Maybe we can figure it out together.) — You"

"I saw the way you looked out for everyone today. You don’t even realize it -how steady you are. You’re the strongest person I know. — S"

"I'm scared most days that I’ll never be enough. That one day, someone will see through me and realize I’m not who they thought. (Thank you for seeing me anyway.) — You"

"You are more than enough. You’re extraordinary. — S"

The Notes That Made Both of You Wonder if There Could Be More

"You light up a room without even trying. Not sure if you know that. — S"

"You’re more than just your shield, you know. I hope you see that the way the rest of us do. (The way I do.) — You"

"I feel a little less lost when I’m around you. Strange, huh? — S"

"Don’t tell anyone, but... You’re kind of my favorite Avenger. — You"

"I’m starting to think books are better when you’re the one who recommends them. (Or maybe it’s just because they remind me of you.) — S"

"Strength isn’t just muscles and grit. Sometimes it’s quiet and steady and shows up when no one’s watching. That’s the kind of strong you are. — You"

"You make the hard days softer. Just thought you should know. — S"

Steve's Reaction To Your Note:

The hall is quiet when Steve gets back to his floor.

It’s late enough that most of the lights are off, the compound humming softly around him like a sleeping giant. He rubs the back of his neck, exhausted -physically, emotionally. He’s not even sure why he checks his door.

Maybe it’s habit. Maybe it’s hope.

And there it is -a small square of yellow, stuck crookedly against the wood.

He peels it off carefully, thumb brushing over the crumpled corners and familiar handwriting.

"I wasn't going to... but only because of you. You make me happy. Steve, you mean the world to me."

Steve stares at it for a long time. Long enough that the words blur together.

He sinks down against the door, the note clutched tight between his fingers like it might disappear if he lets go. His heart pounds quickly.

He can't believe what he's reading.

His chest feels too small, too tight, like there’s not enough room for everything suddenly crowding inside it.

Because he knows what she’s saying. God -he knows.

It’s not just about the notes. Not just about the inside jokes or the good mornings or the careful, clumsy affection that’s been blooming between them like a secret garden no one else can see.

It’s about her. Her heart. Her hurt. Her hope.

It’s about the way she trusted him enough to say it -even if she couldn't say it out loud.

And Steve...

He feels like he’s been standing at the edge of a cliff for months now, too afraid to jump. Too afraid to fall.

But she jumped first. She jumped for him.

He swallows hard, blinking up at the ceiling like maybe that'll stop the burn behind his eyes. It doesn’t.

Carefully, reverently, he folds the note and tucks it into the inside pocket of his jacket, right over his heart.

Then he pulls out a fresh Post-It, his hands only shaking a little, and scribbles three words:

"Roof. Midnight. — S"

Simple. Plain.

But it’s the start of something he’s been too afraid to reach for. Until now.

Steve's heart pounds louder as he walks closer to her door. When he's finally in front of it, he's so close to pressing the note on it, when fears fill his mind.

What if he's misreading the situation? What if she doesn't like him the way he's thinking she might? What if he ruins everything they've built between them?

Steve's thoughts get the best of him. With the note in his hand, he turns back around to his room. As the distance grows between her room, his heart sinks lower. He's unsure. He's...scared.

Steve makes it to his room, setting the Post-it note on his desk. He sits on his bed, staring down at the small piece of paper with his writing. He'll decide tomorrow if he should leave it for her or not.

Tonight, he'll go through her notes again and make sure he's not reading this wrong.

After They're Together

The Post-Its don't stop after you and Steve finally find your way to each other. If anything, they multiply.

Now they're not hidden anymore. They're not careful or scared. Now they’re everywhere -like tiny, living proof of your love for each other.

You leave some for him. Next to his shield, waiting for him before training.

"The world is lucky to have Captain America. I'm luckier to have you. — You"

On his favorite hair gel, you bought when you noticed he was running low.

"Thinking of you. I hope your day is wonderful, just like you. -You"

Next to the breakfast you make for him.

"I love you more than the moon and the stars. Never forget that. -You"

Inside his pocket before a mission:

"Come back to me. (I believe in you.) — You"

He leaves them for you. On the cup of coffee he sets out for you every morning.

"Love you more than caffeine. (And that's saying something.) — S"

On your dresser, near your mirror.

"You're beautiful, even when you think you're not. Especially then. — S"

Tucked under your pillow on a rough day:

"You don't have to be strong tonight. Let me hold you. — S"

In your sketchbook, slipped between the pages:

"You make the world better just by existing. I hope you know that. — S"

Sometimes you find them in your shoes, or taped to the door, or tucked between the pages of a book he knows you’re reading. Sometimes he finds yours in his wallet, his glove, or the inside of his gym bag. You two leave them everywhere.

They're sloppier now, the handwriting messier, rushed -because there’s no more fear weighing down your hands. You don't have to be perfect for each other. You just have to be.

And when he kisses you goodnight, you swear you can still feel every unsaid word from all those early notes written against your skin.

Still there. Still unfolding. Still yours

162 notes · View notes

absdollievu · 22 hours ago

Text

You said you were different, but you’re the same

Toxic!Abby x Reader

You love Abby with a quiet ache in your chest.

It isn’t just the way she looks at you—like you’re something rare and breakable—but the way she holds you in the early hours, when the world outside is still and cruel, and all you have is the space between your breaths. Her arms around you feel like armor. Solid. Unshakable. You trace the scars on her back with the tips of your fingers, whispering stories into her shoulder blade, hoping your love can at least soothe the ghosts she carries.

“I feel safe with you,” you murmur one night, pressed against her chest.

For once, Abby doesn’t brush you off. She kisses the top of your head, her lips lingering like she’s memorizing the shape of peace. “You don’t have to be strong around me,” she whispers.

For a little while, you believe it.

But love isn’t always enough.

A week later—maybe less—the softness disappears. You ask something simple, something you think shouldn’t matter. “Where were you earlier?”

Her shoulders tense. “What’s with the questions?”

Your heart twists. “I was just worried—”

“I don’t need you to worry about me,” she snaps, not looking at you. “I don’t need you keeping tabs.”

The warmth of that night shatters in your hands. You step back, words catching in your throat. “That’s not what I meant…”

But she’s already closed the door inside herself. And just like that, the fortress becomes a wall, and you realize that sometimes the person who makes you feel safest can also be the one who hurts you the most.

You woke up a few days later, Abby gone, not by your side anymore. She had gone to work. You slipped out of your bed in a good mood, preparing for the day.

You flipped through the cook book, planning to cook whatever your finger landed on. You cooked salmon, broccoli, and brown rice with a side of sweet potato fries later on that day around 7. You cooked it with excitement, knowing that you and Abby have wanted to have something like this, some peaceful time alone.

Tonight was supposed to be quiet. Just you and her. A rare moment without worrying about everything else. You made dinner, lit a candle even though it felt ridiculous in this world. She walked in late, eyes like ice, and didn’t say a word.

“Everything okay?” You asked, careful with your tone. Always careful.

She grunted, tossed her bag down like the floor had wronged her. “Work was tiring. Took care of it.”

That was it.

She didn’t ask about your day. Didn’t notice that you’d cleaned up. She sat down, started eating without waiting. You sat across from her, watching the candle flicker between you both.

“I feel like I don’t matter to you sometimes,” You said, voice barely above a whisper.

Her fork froze mid-air. “Are we really doing this now?”

“I just… I try. I try so hard to make things good for you.”

“And what, you want a medal?” she snapped, eyes hard now. “You think I don’t carry enough without having to babysit your feelings too?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. That’s how it always went — you reaching out, her recoiling like you’d stuck a knife in her ribs. Then she’d flip it, make you feel like you were the one who ruined things.

“I’m not asking you to babysit me. I just want to feel like I matter to you. Like I’m not just… convenient.”

She leaned back, arms crossed. “You’re not convenient. You’re lucky I even let anyone get close. You don’t get it. You haven’t lost the way I have.”

And there it was. The guilt trip. The wall. The unspoken rule: her pain outweighs yours. Her trauma is always. the number one thing

You didn’t say anything after that. You just nodded. Ate in silence. Pretended the candlelight didn’t make the shadows on her face look like strangers.

⸻

a/n: errrrr almost didn’t post this one…

Part 2??

92 notes · View notes

pankowcrumbs · 2 days ago

Text

Flirt X Lewis Hamilton

MasterList

F1 Masterlist

Melbourne was a dream. The weather was golden, the city alive and Ferrari’s media content? Exploding.

Specifically whenever I posted anything of Lewis Hamilton.

He was new to the team this year, but you’d never know it. The camera loved him, and he loved it right back flashing those dazzling smiles, throwing cheeky winks, posing like it was second nature. He was a dream to film. Professional. Charming. Always willing to stay an extra few minutes if I needed.

Maybe too charming.

Because lately, there was… something. Something growing between us.

An extra second of eye contact. A softer smile saved just for me.

And I was trying to be professional I was but it was hard when he looked at me like that.

When he spoke to me like that.

“Come on, Y/N,” Lewis drawled, one afternoon after media day. He was lounging against a wall in the paddock, still in his Ferrari race suit, unzipped halfway to his hips with his white undershirt clinging to him.

He flashed me a grin that could have melted steel.

"One date. That’s all I’m asking."

I adjusted the camera in my hands, trying not to show how my fingers trembled slightly.

"I have a rule about not dating drivers," I said, aiming for stern.

He tilted his head, playful.

"But what if the driver’s absolutely smitten? What then?"

I huffed a laugh, heart hammering.

"Then he should focus on winning races instead of flirting."

Lewis just grinned wider.

"I can multitask."

Posting content from Melbourne was ridiculously easy with him around.

I had hours of footage Lewis laughing with the crew, Lewis signing autographs for fans, Lewis pulling faces into the camera, Lewis shirtless doing a fitness session under the sun…

(Purely for professional purposes, of course.)

The fans were absolutely eating it up.

Every time I posted a new Reel or TikTok, the comments were feral:

"Mother is feeding us breakfast lunch dinner and snacks with this content 🙌🔥"

"Lewis Hamilton is the hottest Ferrari driver in HISTORY and I’m not sorry."

"Whoever the new social media manager is... I love you. I would die for you."

"Petition for Y/N to post Lewis content EVERY SINGLE DAY."

It was thrilling. And a little dangerous.

Because the more time I spent with Lewis, the harder it became to remember that I was supposed to be detached.

And he wasn’t helping.

Filming TikToks together? He’d lean a little too close, his arm brushing mine. Behind-the-scenes shots? He’d tug me into frame at the last second, making everyone laugh. Interviews? He’d catch my eye across the paddock and wink, like it was a secret just for us.

He was wearing me down.

And he knew it.

The night before the race, he cornered me again this time outside the hotel after team dinner.

The Melbourne air was warm, scented with eucalyptus and sea salt.

Lewis shoved his hands into his pockets, giving me a look that was half-smile, half-serious.

"One date," he said again, softer now. "No cameras. No pressure. Just you and me."

I stared up at him, my heart a mess of want and fear.

"This can’t affect work," I said quietly.

"It won’t," he promised. "I’ll behave."

He hesitated, stepping closer.

"But I’m not gonna pretend I don’t like you. I do, Y/N. More than I should."

I swallowed hard.

Then God help me I nodded.

"Okay," I whispered. "One date."

The way his whole face lit up was enough to make my knees wobble.

"You won't regret it," he said, taking my hand just for a second just long enough to make me feel it for hours after.

I didn’t know what I expected for our first date. Something low-key, maybe.

Lewis had other ideas.

He hired out a private yacht.

A yacht.

He told me to dress comfortably, but when I arrived at the dock the next afternoon after wrapping all my pre-race duties my jaw nearly hit the floor.

The sun was setting over the water, turning the whole bay gold, and there was Lewis, barefoot in linen trousers and a white shirt, waiting with a bottle of champagne.

"You’re insane," I said, laughing as he helped me aboard.

He shrugged, utterly unrepentant.

"You said one date. I’m making it count."

The yacht drifted out onto the water, soft music playing, the city glittering behind us.

We ate dinner and fruit, talked about everything racing, music, childhood dreams and it was so easy, so good that it scared me a little.

Lewis leaned back against the railing, watching me like he could see straight through to my soul.

"You’re different," he said quietly. "Real."

I flushed, ducking my head.

"You’re not exactly what I expected either."

"Oh?" he teased. "What did you expect?"

I smiled, catching his gaze.

"I thought you’d be cockier. Less... kind."

Lewis’s face softened.

"I can be cocky," he said. "But not with you."

He stepped closer, taking my hand.

"I don’t want to impress you. I just want you."

And then he kissed me slow and sweet, the ocean rocking gently beneath us.

It was perfect.

And terrifying.

Because I knew, right then, that I was doomed.

Utterly, gloriously doomed.

The next day, back at the track, everything had to go back to normal.

Professional. Distant. Untouchable.

Or at least, that was the plan.

Lewis, predictably, made it almost impossible.

During media day, he kept sneaking glances at me. During the driver parade, he spotted me filming and blew a kiss at my camera, making the crowd erupt in screams.

I could already imagine the fan comments:

"Y/N you are SERVING we are FEASTING"

"Lewis is literally in love omg"

"The way he looks at her... I’m SOBBING."

"Y/N post more RIGHT NOW bestie please 🙏"

And it wasn't just them.

Every time Lewis grinned at me every time he winked or leaned into frame or pulled a silly face just to make me laugh I could feel myself falling harder.

And it was getting harder to hide.

That night, after Lewis finished on the podium second place, champagne spraying everywhere I found him behind the garages, grinning like a kid.

"You were amazing," I said, holding up the GoPro to catch the behind-the-scenes celebration.

He grabbed the camera and turned it around on me instead, laughing.

"No, you’re amazing," he said, still breathless. "You’re my good luck charm."

I rolled my eyes, cheeks burning, as he filmed me blushing.

The fans were going to absolutely lose it when I posted this.

But honestly?

I didn’t care anymore.

Let them see. Let the world know.

Because Lewis Hamilton wasn’t just camera-ready.

He was heart-ready.

And somehow impossibly he wanted me.

After the podium celebrations, Melbourne was buzzing. The team was buzzing. The internet was buzzing.

And not just about the race.

No. They were buzzing about me and Lewis.

Because apparently somewhere between the champagne chaos and the media frenzy a live camera had caught him pulling me into a hug behind the garages. Not just a casual hug, either.

One of those arms-wrapped-round-my-waist, forehead-leaning-on-mine, we’re-in-our-own-world kinds of hugs.

There was even a moment a tiny second where it looked like he might kiss me.

We didn’t. (Just barely.) But the footage was enough.

The internet lost its collective mind.

"WAIT DID LEWIS JUST ALMOST KISS THE SOCIAL MEDIA GIRL???"

"Y/N IS THE MAIN CHARACTER. LEWIS HAMILTON IS IN LOVE WITH HER. THIS IS CANON."

"My Roman Empire: Lewis almost kissing Y/N after podium celebrations."

"Y/N posting Lewis content like a queen and then him almost kissing her live on TV... this is poetry."

I buried my face in my hands when I saw the clips.

"Oh my God," I groaned in the media room the next morning.

Carlos Sainz, never one to miss a chance to tease, leaned over my shoulder grinning.

"Sooooo," he said, dragging the word out. "Anything you want to tell us?"

Charles Leclerc appeared beside him, fake-casual.

"Just curious, no reason."

I glared at them both.

"Mind your business."

Carlos winked.

"Impossible. This is my business now. I’m emotionally invested."

Charles folded his arms dramatically.

"We’re emotionally invested."

I shoved my headphones on and ignored them.

I couldn’t stop smiling.

Lewis texted me later that night.

Lewis: Come outside.

Me: It’s 1AM.

Lewis: Live a little, Y/N.

I snuck out of the hotel lobby, heart racing, and found him waiting by a ridiculously fancy black car.

"Seriously?" I said, half-laughing. "Was the yacht not enough?"

Lewis just smiled, eyes dancing.

"You’re worth the effort."

He opened the passenger door for me like a proper gentleman.

"Come on. I’ve got something better this time."

I got in of course I did, because apparently I’d lost all sense where he was concerned and he pulled out into the quiet Melbourne streets.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You’ll see."

He drove us to a private airstrip.

A bloody airstrip.

My jaw dropped as we pulled up beside a gleaming little helicopter, blades spinning slowly.

Lewis cut the engine and turned to me, grinning.

"Second date," he said. "Sunrise over Melbourne. Best view in the world."

I just stared at him.

"You’re mental."

He laughed, stepping out and rounding the car to open my door.

"Maybe. But you’re here, aren’t you?"

He offered his hand.

I took it without hesitation.

We Flew over Melbourne until dawn and it was… surreal.

The sky bled gold and pink, the whole city sparkling beneath us.

Lewis sat beside me, headset on, his hand resting lightly over mine on the seat between us.

It was quiet just the low hum of the blades and our shared smiles.

I turned to look at him, heart squeezing.

He was beautiful. Not just handsome beautiful.

Soft. Kind. Funny.

Mine?

The thought made my chest ache.

He caught me staring and squeezed my hand gently.

"This alright?" he asked, voice crackling through the headset.

I nodded, smiling so wide my cheeks hurt.

"It’s perfect."

And it was.

So was he.

Afterwards, when we landed and the city was waking up below us, he didn’t let go of my hand.

He pulled me closer, eyes warm and serious.

"I like you, Y/N," he said simply. "I know it’s complicated with work and all that. But I’m not messing around."

I swallowed hard, emotions crashing through me.

"I like you too," I whispered.

His smile broke over his face like sunshine.

And then finally he kissed me properly.

No cameras. No fans. No teasing.

Just Lewis. And me. And the sunrise.

It was everything.

And I knew, without a doubt, that this was only the beginning.

The fans, of course, had no idea about the helicopter or the kiss. (Yet.)

But they did notice that Lewis was practically glowing at the next race weekend. Laughing more. Smiling more. Looking at the camera at me like he was the happiest man alive.

And when I posted a new TikTok a compilation of Lewis dancing around the paddock, making stupid faces, being adorable the comments flooded in again:

"HE’S SO HAPPY IT’S BECAUSE OF Y/N I JUST KNOW IT."

"Mother Y/N keeps FEEDING US. We are obese from this content."

"Can they just soft launch already PLEASE we are STARVING."

"Petition for Y/N and Lewis to become the paddock’s power couple immediately."

We tried. We really tried.

Lewis and I promised each other after Melbourne: no drama. No headlines. Keep it quiet. Keep it professional.

For a little while, it worked.

And then reality hit.

The reality being: we are terrible at being subtle.

It started with the looks.

You know the looks.

Across the paddock, across the garage, across any room we were both in. I’d be holding the camera, pretending to film something serious, and Lewis would catch my eye and grin that lazy, devastating grin of his. The one that made my brain short-circuit.

Or worse he’d wink.

Lewis Hamilton winked at me. Daily.

I lived in a constant state of barely holding it together.

Carlos noticed first, of course.

"Cuidado," he muttered under his breath as I passed him one afternoon, pretending to focus on shooting content. "You're gonna set the paddock on fire with those looks."

I nearly dropped the camera.

Charles wasn’t far behind. He caught Lewis and me standing just a bit too close behind the team trucks one morning, both laughing at some private joke.

He raised an eyebrow so high it practically left his forehead.

"Subtle," he said dryly, as he walked past.

I turned scarlet.

Lewis just laughed and tugged his cap lower, all cheeky innocence.

Then there were the accidents.

Like the time I posted a casual behind-the-scenes story of Lewis laughing during a promo shoot.

Completely harmless.

Except in the background of the video, you could very clearly hear him saying:

"Where’s my girl at?"

I didn’t notice when I posted it.

The internet did.

Within an hour, #Where’sMyGirlAt was trending on Twitter.

Fans were ravenous.

"SIR. WHO IS YOUR GIRL. WHO. IS. SHE."

"i’m just a little guy... i can’t handle this information drop."

"Y/N you’re SO powerful mother."

Charles printed out memes and stuck them to the garage walls.

Carlos even made a custom t-shirt that said "Where’s My Girl At?" and wore it around the paddock.

I hated them. (I loved them.)

And then came the soft launch.

Entirely Lewis' doing.

We were sitting side-by-side in the Ferrari motorhome one evening, both pretending to scroll through our phones.

I was half-asleep against his shoulder, feeling warm and safe and so, so happy.

He took a sneaky photo just our hands, resting together on his lap.

Nothing else. No faces. No big clues.

Just two hands, fingers linked loosely, sunlight pouring over us.

He posted it on his Instagram story with no caption.

I didn’t even realise until Charles came sprinting into the motorhome, waving his phone above his head.

"YOU GUYS," he yelled.

The whole place erupted.

"THE SOFT LAUNCH IS SO SOFT I’M SOBBING."

"Their hands??? the sunlight??? the peace??? I’m unwell."

"Y/N and Lewis are doing TRUE ROMANCE rn."

Even Mercedes' official account commented on random Ferrari posts like, "👀❤️".

I wanted to die.

Lewis, of course, was loving it.

"Relax," he murmured against my ear later, arm slung round my waist as we snuck out the back of the garage. "Let them talk. Let them know."

I turned to face him, heart pounding.

"You're evil," I said.

He grinned, utterly unrepentant.

"You love it."

And annoyingly… I did.

The next race weekend, things got even worse (better?).

Because Lewis was not content with subtle anymore.

He started little things brushing his hand against mine when we passed, tugging gently at my headset to whisper stupid jokes, finding reasons to come sit beside me whenever I was editing.

Every time I posted anything remotely Lewis-related, fans screamed louder:

"Mother is feeding us AGAIN."

"Lewis Hamilton's entire love language is annoying his gf while she’s working."

"I'm not saying they should get married but also... maybe they should get married."

And honestly?

I wasn’t far off agreeing.

Because every time Lewis looked at me really looked at me I felt like the most important person in the world.

Not Ferrari’s media girl. Not a job title.

Just me.

And he was mine.

One evening, after a long day of practice, Lewis pulled me aside behind the motorhome.

The sky was pink and golden, the air buzzing with that magic race weekend energy.

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, looking down at me with those soft, warm eyes.

"I’m planning something," he said casually.

I frowned.

"Another helicopter ride?"

He laughed, low and fond.

"Better."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

"Define 'better.'"

Lewis just smiled slow, secretive and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"You'll see."

And something in the way he said it quiet, certain made my heart absolutely soar.

I should’ve known something was up.

I mean it was obvious, really. In hindsight. The way everyone around me was terrible at pretending they didn’t know something. Carlos couldn’t look me in the eye without grinning like an idiot. Charles kept patting my shoulder and muttering, "Big weekend, big weekend," under his breath. Even the Ferrari team principal winked at me.

WINKED.

And Lewis...Well.

Lewis was being suspiciously well-behaved.

No cheeky touches. No distracting jokes while I was working. No dramatic entrances into the Instagram stories.

Just calm, focused Lewis. Patient. Sweet.

It was enough to make me wildly suspicious.

We were in Vegas that weekend.

Of all places.

Glittering streets, sparkling sea, the glamour turned up to eleven.

I was busy capturing all the usual content the race prep, the pit walks, the candid shots of Lewis laughing with the team.

And God, he looked good dark suit, sunglasses, that easy swagger that made half the paddock swoon.

But something buzzed beneath it all.

Something... electric.

Lewis kept catching my eye across the garage, across the track.

Little secret looks that made my stomach swoop.

Like he knew something I didn’t.

Like he was waiting.

It happened after qualifying.

Ferrari had a team dinner booked casual, celebratory, nothing fancy.

Or so they said.

I should’ve clocked it when they told me, "Wear something nice. Like... very nice."

Charles practically shoved a dress bag into my hands.

"You’ll thank me later," he said, smirking.

I glared at him.

I was still glaring when I stepped into the mirror in the hotel room and saw the dress. Simple. Elegant. Red, of course Ferrari red fitting me like a second skin.

My heart thumped.

I hadn’t even seen Lewis yet and I was already dizzy.

He was waiting downstairs.

Black suit. No tie. Top button undone, diamond earring catching the light.

And when he saw me?

He actually stumbled a little.

"Jesus," he breathed, crossing the room in two strides to take my hands. "You’re... you’re unreal."

I flushed.

"You clean up alright yourself, Hamilton."

He grinned and kissed my forehead lingering, like he didn’t want to let go.

"Come on," he murmured. "Big night."

I had no idea.

The dinner was in this beautiful tucked-away courtyard fairy lights strung through olive trees, long wooden tables laid out with candles and flowers.

The whole team was there Ferrari drivers, engineers, media, family.

Everyone buzzing with this giddy kind of energy.

I sat between Lewis and Charles, laughing through the courses, feeling warm and golden and full.

Every so often Lewis would nudge my knee under the table, or brush his hand against mine when reaching for the wine.

And every time, my heart stuttered.

Then dessert came.

Or it was supposed to.

Instead, the lights dimmed.

And Lewis stood up.

The chatter faded instantly.

He held a glass, tapping it lightly with a fork the classic attention-getter but he didn’t look cocky or joking.

He looked serious.

Focused.

He turned to face me.

And I knew.

I knew.

Everything inside me flipped upside down.

"Y/N," Lewis said steady, soft voice carrying over the courtyard.

"You walked into my life with a camera in your hand and fire in your eyes."

A soft laugh rippled through the team.

I blinked furiously.

"And you’ve been turning my world upside down ever since," he continued, smiling slightly. "Every race. Every moment. Every day. You make everything better. Brighter. You make me better."

I was already crying.

Charles passed me a napkin, sniffling dramatically himself.

Lewis took a small velvet box from his pocket.

Opened it.

A ring.

Simple, stunning a band that caught the fairy lights like it held a thousand tiny stars.

"I don’t wanna spend another lap, another second, without knowing you're mine," he said, voice roughening slightly.

He stepped closer, reaching out his free hand.

"Will you marry me, Y/N?"

I was sobbing.

I mean full-on ugly-crying.

Behind me, Charles shouted, "SAY YES!"

I could barely speak through the tears, but somehow, somehow, I managed:

"Yes."

Lewis let out a breath like he’d been holding it forever.

He slipped the ring onto my finger hands steady, eyes shining and pulled me into him.

The courtyard erupted.

Cheering. Clapping. Whistling.

Someone popped a bottle of champagne and it sprayed everywhere.

Lewis kissed me.

Properly.

Full, messy, beautiful.

The kind of kiss that says forever.

Later, hours later, I found out the whole thing had been planned for weeks.

The team helping him set up the dinner.

Charles choosing the dress.

Lewis had wanted it perfect.

Private, but surrounded by the people who meant the most to us.

Family.

And the fans?

Oh, they knew.

Because Lewis posted one thing on Instagram the next morning:

A simple picture of my hand wearing the ring resting on his chest.

Captioned: "She said yes." ❤️🏎️

The internet exploded.

"MOTHER AND FATHER ARE GETTING MARRIED I’M SOBBING"

"Not a drill. REPEAT: NOT A DRILL."

"This is bigger than any championship win, sorry I don’t make the rules."

"I KNEW IT FROM THE HELICOPTER RIDE LAST YEAR."

I was dizzy with love, with happiness, with the knowledge that somehow, against all odds, we’d found this.

Us.

A love story born in the paddock, sealed under the stars, raced into forever.

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kusanagihaku · 1 day ago

Text

the other on my heart

⭢ haku x mc, 2.1k

If you are sliced open right now, you think, if you erupt into flowers right this moment - you will bleed the same gold that shone in Haku’s eyes that first day on the train, the same gold that shines now whenever he looks at you, all affection and adoration, devoted and devout. or: Haku’s got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel, and… on ao3 here / masterlist.

belated birthday fic for @ghoulspaw but i'm two months late (;´ - `;) happy birthday ily!! inspired by this one mel post and haku's affinity 11 voice line about the woes of the people and our screaming crying throwing up in the dms about driving!haku with his hand on your thigh... thank u for screaming w me abt haku always… haku gfs club 4ever... i hope u enjoy!!

“That should be all,” Haku says, surveying the trunk.

It is packed full of tightly-taped boxes, brown cardboard tops messily labelled in a chicken-scratch scrawl barely readable by dim streetlight. You squint at the top-most package, and check the last item off your list – red mizuhiki strings, requested by Festival Stall #28 – then click your pen shut.

“That should be all,” you confirm.

Haku reaches up to slam the trunk shut.

“It was a good call to borrow a car from Alan,” you say, as you get into the car. “I don’t know how we’d haul all this back within one trip.”

Haku laughs, tugging the driver’s door closed. “I should be thanking you, then, since you were the one speaking to Vagastrom.”

You tuck your clipboard back into the tote bag at your feet. “If I didn’t convince Alan, Subaru would have spoken to Sho.”

Haku laughs again, a short huff as he leans in over the centre console. The proximity sends a flush up your neck, especially when you feel his nose brush your cheek, followed by the soft press of his lips. “Thank you for doing it, then, so our captain didn’t have to.”

Even though it’s been months of this it still sends a shy swell of adoration through your lungs every single time. You turn slightly to reply, but Haku is reaching across you with his right hand, long fingers catching on your seatbelt before pulling it across you. His lips don’t leave the edge of yours as he murmurs, “Your seatbelt, princess.”

If you turn just a little more, you’d feel the press of his lips against your own–

But there is nothing stopping you, you remember, nothing stopping you from tasting the honey of his words straight from the source– and so you do, and he kisses you sweetly, gently, heart-thumpingly–

It is so easy to pretend, that you are just two people, out running errands and heading home for the night. That everything is ordinary, that after this, you will unlock your doors and unload your groceries and put everything away, and spend the rest of the moonlight murmuring in the warmth of each other’s eyes.

But there is a beep from your phone, a sharp crack in the still of the car, a snap of notifications and reminders that you are nothing but a tool of Darkwick–

When you pull away, Haku sighs.

The smile he offers you is tired and rueful, and he straightens back up to start the car as you dislodge your phone from your blazer pocket.

“It’s Subaru,” you say, apologetically. “He’s asking if we managed to find everything okay.”

Haku drums his fingers against the steering wheel. The gold of his watch catches the streetlight as he begins to manoeuvre the car out of the parking lot. “Guess that’s our cue to head back.”

You tap out a short update to Subaru before leaning back into your seat. When you sneak a glance at Haku he is half-lit by the red of the stop light, one hand resting on the top of the steering wheel and the other resting loosely in his lap.

You bite your lip. “Haku.”

His eyes flicker to you.

“Thanks for inviting me to come with you,” you say, quietly. You worry the edge of your phone case with your fingernail. “I know it wasn’t a mission and you could have asked the general students to do it, but it was nice. Spending time outside of Darkwick. With you.”

Haku’s returning smile is the sort of fond only ever reserved for you; it makes you want to melt into him, gentle, safe, your personal equator. He reaches over to take your hand, carefully tangling his fingers into yours. “You look like you needed it.”

He gives your hand a squeeze. It squeezes your heart.

You squeeze back.

The lights turn green, and you settle into silence.

Time comes in waves, on the road - you are looking at him, fringe falling into his eyes, then at the twinkle of city life and flash of taillights, then at the way Haku’s fingers have molded themselves into the shape of yours, steady and sure and soft, and then suddenly it is all gone and you are faced with the blank canvas of black road and the expanse of stars above you that you cannot see.

The car hurtles towards your destination.

Before Darkwick, you’d bemoaned having to do chores, having to spend time doing supermarket runs, doing laundry, doing paperwork. But now, having had stood in line for wagashi for hours, Haku’s head dipping towards yours in shared secret laughter, having had sprawled out on the floor of Haku’s room, buried in mission briefs and reports, having been pinned against the thrum of your washing machine, cradled between the heat of Haku’s palms— what wouldn’t you give, to do those things with him forever. What wouldn’t you give to wrap around time like this, to repeat your everyday in his company, to spin forever in each others’ orbit like two dust motes from a star that have never been apart.

Your intertwined fingers flash gold under the passing highway lights.

In another life, you think, this could be your everyday – white noise on the radio, road humming beneath your feet. Haku humming along, painted in city glow, framed in mundanity. Haku, with his hand in your lap and his name on your lips and his heart in yours. Haku within reach, always.

“Do I take this exit or the next?”

Haku’s voice breaks you out of your thoughts, and you squint at the tiny text flashing across the screen to his phone. The words are too small, however, and so you have to somewhat reluctantly let go of Haku’s hand to reach for where it has been propped up as a navigation system on the dashboard.

His hand drops to your thigh. His palm burns through the grey of your skirt, thumb brushing along its hem.

“This one,” you say. The pad of his thumb is rough against the bare of your skin.

You lean forward to set his phone back on its stand. The movement dislodges his hand; as you settle back into your seat he slips it neatly under the hem of your skirt, and gives your inner thigh a squeeze.

“Haku,” you say, warningly, smiling, and he laughs in surrender. His hand returns to the steering wheel.

He does not take the exit.

“Haku–“

“I know,” he says. He glances over at you again. “There’s a place at the next exit I want to show you. You can see the city lights and all, from up there.”

You hesitate for just a fraction too long, thinking of the report record you’ll have to fill up, and Haku reaches to take your hand in his again. “Just for a little while, I promise. You can just write it up as us taking the wrong exit and losing our way for a couple minutes.”

God, he’s too persuasive.

“If you’re going to murder me,” you say, at last, “I won’t tell Darkwick.”

It pulls another laugh out of Haku, startled and bright, and you lean into it like you’re drinking the sun.

“You say that like I could ever live without you, princess,” Haku says, grinning at the road. His voice is lighthearted. Neither of you mention the fact that he will soon have to.

It takes a while to get from the next exit to the top of the small hill that Haku decided upon, but as Haku slides the car headfirst into the parking lot you see why he has chosen it.

The car park is empty, with only a pair of dim streetlamps at its entrance, but beyond that– oh, beyond that–

The city sprawls out beneath your feet. From this overlook you can see the rise and fall of buildings, dotted with tiny lights that flicker on and off with every movement of your eye. The cars on the highway you left behind crawl like ants to and from their kingdom; the clouds, lit a dim purple from below by the glow of the city, hang low across its occupants.

How far away you are now, from this life. How far away you will be.

“I’ve always liked the city lights more than stars,” Haku says, quietly. The soothe of his voice shatters your thoughts into tiny, brilliant pieces the way it always does, rounding their sharp edges into something muted, dull. “People are always going on about stargazing and stuff, you know, but you can barely see them, most of the time.”

You turn to look at him, turn to look at the way his earrings brush the sharp of his jaw. His head is tilted against the headrest, eyes half-closed as he stares out at the cityscape.

“But every light I see here,” he says, softer, his hand sliding again into your lap, sliding home, “every light in every window is a person. They’re going about their lives and getting their groceries and doing their laundry and thinking about their problems and celebrating their successes and they’re just one in fourteen million people who are doing so.”

He does not look at you, not yet. His thumb runs along the inside of your thigh, starts a dim burn in the hollow of your spine. “It makes me feel insignificant, sometimes. That I’m just one in fourteen million people who are just struggling along. But then I remember, that out of these fourteen million people, on that one day on that one train at Kisaragi Station, I got to meet you–“

They say that gods are invisible, but when Haku half-turns to look at you, then, haloed only in yellow streetlight and dashboard glow, you think you might know what holy is supposed to look like.

Your own personal angel, with his hand on your thigh and his voice low and tight in his throat like a prayer. With the green of his fringe shaded grey by the night, but with the gold of his eyes glowing bright all the same.

“This life kinda sucks,” Haku murmurs. When he leans in across the console to tip his forehead against yours his breath ghosts across your lips. “But in my next one, I’m hoping that in these fourteen million people, I’ll get to meet you again. And we’ll do whatever we did today together again, but this time every day, again and again, for the rest of our lives.”

“Haku,” you breathe, but your voice is tangled up in your lungs, and there is a heat behind your eyes that threatens to leak–

But then you are kissing him something soft, sweet, lips on his like you are speaking, praying his words into existence. And he is kissing you back, something yearning and yawning and needy, something shaking and pleading, like he is willing the universe to make it happen; he kisses you like the press of your lips have the power to turn back time, like the curl of his tongue can rewrite your ending.

When you break away, gasping for shared breath, eyelashes tangled in his and your trembling hand on his hand on your jaw, blinking away your thoughts like stars in the winter, this is what you write into your memory of tonight:

That if love is a place, perhaps it is in the cup of his palm, in the soft of his laugh. Perhaps it is in the press of Haku’s shaky smile against yours as you pull him in, again and again, kissing him silly in the middle of an abandoned parking lot. Perhaps it is not in the promise of forever, but buried in the cracks of everyday vice-captain and inspector duties, in the minutes he has carved out for the both of you in the moments you have remaining. In the heat of his hand on your inner thigh, in his breath in your lungs, in the unshakable assurance of I’ve-found-you-too-late-in-this-life-but-I-promise-you-I’ll-find-you-in-the-next.

That if you are sliced open right now, you think, if you erupt into flowers right this moment, you will bleed the same gold that shone in Haku’s eyes that first day on the train, the same gold that shines now whenever he looks at you – all affection and adoration, devoted and devout.

“It’s a while yet until curfew,” Haku murmurs. His words are warm on your cheek as he pulls away. His hand slides higher, higher, as he looks at you, begging. “Shall we stay a while longer?”

#tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker x reader #haku kusanagi #haku kusanagi x reader #haku kusanagi x mc #IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG #BUT DRIVING!HAKU HAS BEEN COOKING FOR TOO LONG #i fear it might be a little ooc but i need him out of my brain right NOW #lin writes #havent written in a while but HERE WE GO

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accio-victuuri · 2 days ago

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THANK YOU, FILMMAKER WANG YIBO… 💕🫶🏼

this is a sort of recap post for the huabiao awards and basically a post to celebrate yibo and the amazing actor that he is. i know that we all have mixed feelings about this, and every other nomination that he didn’t win, but it’s important to go back to why we are here and support him. it’s because he is yibo and his works do not disappoint both the fans and the general audience. we already won when we watched those films — whenever that was for you.

we were all holding our breath if he will make it to the red carpet, sadly, he didn’t. that actually went on hs. his schedule was already so tight with the race and flying to qingdao. thankfully, his team took some excellent photos of him and with all the racer 85 related props 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

then as soon as he sat down, he was a bit late to the ceremony too, the host cued him and mentioned his name. he stood up and bowed to the audience. i love the cheers for him!

the award for outstanding actor was early, i guess all of us got nervous and hopeful that he will get it. he didn’t but he was so gracious. he was nodding and clapping. the tag on hs for him is how you can’t lipread what he’s saying. some are guessing that he said that it’s not easy, meaning it’s not easy to win it. and considering he was up against zhang yi, it makes sense.

you probably read about how hard it is to get nominated for this category. this award is given every 2 years. no distinction between supporting and main actor and there are only 2 nominees. just imagine all the eligible movies and actors — but still, yibo was chosen. he is the first post 90s actor to get nominated. and this is technically, within his first year of being a movie actor and releasing his works.

i have no bad blood with zhang yi. he is a well loved actor and what a coincidence that they both posted about each other’s movie before, and now, they ended up being nominated side by side.

yibo recognizes excellence. if anything, i’m sure this makes him want to strive more to be on that level. i’m trying hard to not quote timothee chalamet’s SAG speech here but it fits so well — “ i know we’re in a subjective business, but the truth is I’m really in pursuit of greatness. I know people don’t usually talk like that, but I want to be one of the greats.” and he is on his way to becoming one of the greats. it’s a privilege to watch him grow into that, and i hope we all stay on for years to come and see it happen.

the surprise was how he was actually gonna be onstage. not only that, he was there with zhang ziyi and jackie chan to give a tribute to Chinese Cinema. it makes me proud to see him be the representative of the young generation. because he really is. and he doesn’t even need to pretend and perform to be that — he already is. it comes natural to him.

overall, he was in a good mood. why wouldn’t he? he is attending an event celebrating the movies he worked hard for. tho my favorite is when he smiled like a kid after he presented on stage and how he was interacting with his seat mates — especially Ma Li.

lastly, i’ll talk about some pre-awards chatter. weeks before, people were talking about if yibo would go or not. moreso, if he will be nominated. it’s so ironic cause his antis were babbling about how people that are not invited are blacklisted cause it’s the 120th anniversary celebration. but lo and behold — not only is he attending. all the films he participated in are nominated. he is nominated as best actor. and during the broadcast, he went onstage with jackie chan and zhang ziyi. 😂😂😂😂

it’s the usual song and dance. it’s yibo’s favorite past time. proving his haters wrong.

same thing with them saying he is “banned” because it’s been a while since his last movie project - mermaid. clearly not. tonight’s program showed how he is the movie darling. he is just doing what he said he will be in his past interview, that he wants to experience the world to be able to be better in his craft. i couldn’t get that out of my head when he said it and that explains all his decisions. he is gonna be so selective with his next movie project and i’m excited what he picks next! he’s always had an excellent intuition of what roles will work well and challenge him. the rest can breathe for a while cause he is not coming for their wigs — yet. lol. i have a feeling that as soon as mermaid is out, he is gonna raise the bar again. we just have to wait patiently.

anyway, that’s all. the road ahead is long and we will continue to accompany actor wang yibo! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

#wang yibo #I AM TOXIC ACTOR WANG YIBO FAN MOST OF THE TIME #just an excuse to talk about yibo lol

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gracie-eilish · 22 hours ago

Note

Can you write something like reader working on a song off of hit me hard and soft with billie ? First time requesting anything so sorry if its not specific enough or something

chihiro

warnings: none, vocal anatomy talk in the context of singing (i’ve been taking vocal lessons for years hehe apologies for my slight nerding out)

pairing: singer!reader x billie

an: they’re working on that one section towards the end of the chorus, where billie specifically is in her head voice (“away from meeeeeeee” .. y’all know what i’m talking about lol)

The late afternoon sun poured into Billie’s home studio, bathing everything in a golden haze. It made the dust motes dance lazily in the air, catching on the edge of her monitor, her notepad, the well-worn wire looped around the mic stand. You sat cross-legged on the little couch pushed against the wall, half-watching Billie as she fiddled with her soundboard, half-savoring the simple beauty of being here with her.

“Okay, okay,” Billie muttered, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands as she bounced a little on her toes. Her hair was a little messy from running her fingers through it, her glasses sliding down her nose. “This line is gonna be the death of me.”

You smiled softly, watching her with fondness. She was in the thick of it—frustrated but determined—and you knew better than to jump in too soon. Instead, you waited, head tilted slightly, until she finally let out a groan and threw herself dramatically onto the rug in front of you.

“Help me,” she whined up at you.

You giggled and leaned over, offering your hand. “What exactly are you stuck on, superstar?”

Billie let you pull her upright, then pushed her glasses up and dragged you over to her desk. She pressed play, and the new track—Chihiro—floated into the room. It was dreamy and haunting, and you could hear where she wanted to take it: the verses brushed like silk, intimate and breathy, while the post chorus needed to lift—higher, lighter, almost otherworldly.

When it came to the section she was struggling with, you could hear it: her voice hesitated, dropped out, like she couldn’t quite catch the breeze she was chasing.

“I need it to feel…” Billie waved her hands in the air, searching for the right words. “Like…airy? But controlled? Like it’s barely there, but still, like, warm? I dunno. I just can’t get it to sit right.”

You listened carefully, already feeling a familiar itch in your muscles. A memory stirred—standing in your college vocal lessons, shoulders back, diaphragm lifted, reaching for those impossibly high, delicate notes. Singing like you were exhaling a secret.

You smiled, a little mischievously. “You know,” you said casually, “when I was in college, I was like strictly a soprano.”

Billie blinked at you. “Wait, seriously?”

You shrugged, pretending not to notice how her face lit up with excitement. “Strictly. Floating up into the rafters was basically my job.”

Billie looked at you like you’d just pulled a rabbit out of a hat. “Dude! Why didn’t you ever tell me that?!”

You laughed and squeezed her hand. “Guess it never came up. But…if you want, I could help you?”

Billie grabbed both your hands, her smile wide and grateful. “Are you kidding? Yes. Save me, please.”

You pulled up a second mic and moved to sit beside her at the desk, close enough that your knees touched. You asked her to sing the tricky part again, and she did, biting her lip afterward like she was bracing for criticism.

Instead, you said gently, “You’re almost there. You just need to think lighter, like…instead of pushing the note out, let it float up. Like it’s not your voice at all—it’s just your breath, carrying it. Really get that soft palette lifted so you have more room for air back there.

You demonstrated, singing the line back to her, your voice lifting so effortlessly it sounded like it was made of smoke. Billie’s mouth dropped open a little.

“Okay, wow,” she whispered.

You giggled, feeling a warm rush at the way she was looking at you, like you’d just handed her a key she didn’t know she needed.

“Now you,” you said encouragingly.

She tried again, her eyes fluttering shut, her shoulders relaxing under your hands as you placed a hand on her back keeping her sitting up, and another on the top of her neck, keeping her throat upright just like your old voice teacher would do. You watched the tension melt from her posture, saw the way the sound smoothed out into something soft and glowing. She nailed it.

When she finished, she opened her eyes and looked at you, stunned.

“Baby,” she breathed, laughing a little in disbelief. “That sounded…good, right?! That was good!”

You grinned. “It was amazing. You just needed a little soprano magic.”

Billie tackled you into a hug, burying her face into your neck. “I swear to God, you’re my lucky charm. My secret weapon.”

You wrapped your arms around her, squeezing tight. It felt so good to be able to give her this, to make her feel as incredible as she made you feel every day.

A little later, after you’d finessed the section a few more times and Billie had gotten more comfortable floating up into that high, whispery register, she spun around in her chair, grinning mischievously.

“You know…” she said slowly, “you sound really good. Like, really good.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Miss Eilish.”

She laughed, throwing her head back. “No, I’m serious. Would you—would you want to record some background harmonies? Like, super subtle? Just to layer behind me? Hidden in plain sight?”

Your heart flipped. “Me? On your album?”

Billie shrugged like it was obvious. “Duh. No one’s gonna know it’s you except me. It’ll be like our little secret.”

You beamed at her, warmth blooming in your chest so big you thought it might spill out of you. “I’d love to.”

She grinned and set up a second track, her hand brushing yours in silent thanks as she slid you the microphone.

Recording with Billie felt like magic. You matched your voice to hers, tracing the edges of her melody like you were painting in watercolor. She sat on the other side of the table, watching you with wide, shining eyes as you sang higher and softer, exactly what the song needed.

When you finished, she rushed to wrap you up in another hug, whispering into your hair, “You just made this song, like, a thousand times better.”

You tilted your head back to see her, brushing your nose against hers. “We made it better.”

She smiled at you like you hung the stars, her fingers brushing your cheek. “Thank you. For helping me. For helping me find that part of my voice.”

You cupped her jaw, feeling a giddy, dizzy happiness settle into your bones. “Always.”

Later that night, when you were curled up together on the couch, Chihiro playing softly through the speakers, Billie nudged you with her nose.

“You’re my favorite sound in the whole world,” she murmured, half-asleep, her fingers tracing lazy circles against your back.

And with your voice hidden inside her song, tucked away like a secret between the two of you, you knew you would always, always be a part of her music—and of her heart.

#gracie eilish #billie eilish #wlw #fanfiction #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish fluff #billie eilish fic #billie eilish x fem!reader #billie x you #billie eilish x female reader #billie eilish x you #billie eilish fanfiction #billie x reader #billie eilish x y/n #billie x y/n #billie x fem reader

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lazysoulwriter · 2 days ago

Text

standing tall. - pedro pascal.

requested! thank you for sending. tall girls supremacy!!!!! (not a tall girl, just find them hot)

---

It started with one photo. Just one.

You and Pedro Pascal at an afterparty — him in a perfectly tailored suit, you towering over him in stilettos and a silk gown, laughing at something he whispered against your ear.

The internet lost its mind. “Tall girl supremacy!!” “Pedro with his goddess? I’m crying??” “He’s so real for this.”

And honestly? You loved every second of it.

You met Pedro on set — a supporting role in his new prestige series. From the very first table read, he made you feel seen. Literally seen.

While most people awkwardly commented on your height or made jokes, Pedro had simply looked up at you, grinned wide, and said, "Finally, someone who doesn’t make me feel like a giant."

It was easy after that. Late-night conversations on set. Inside jokes. Flirty glances over coffee cups. You tried to ignore the way your heart skipped when he laughed. Tried to pretend you didn’t notice the way he always found a reason to stand just a little closer to you.

Of course, Pedro made the first move. (Because you're gorgeous, and he’s not stupid.)

Dating Pedro was a whirlwind of soft affection and quiet understanding.

He loved how you wore heels without hesitation. He loved how you never apologized for taking up space — in a room, in a conversation, in his life.

"You’re statuesque, hermosa," he told you one night, tracing the line of your jaw with reverent fingers. "Like you were carved out of marble just to drive me crazy."

The only thing he didn’t love? Seeing you hesitate when the cameras were around.

Because no matter how confident you were, there was always that tiny voice in your head: Too tall. Too loud. Too much.

Pedro saw it. And he wasn’t having it.

The night of the afterparty, it all came to a head.

You hesitated before stepping onto the red carpet with him, shifting on your towering heels. Pedro caught your hand immediately, pulling you back into his chest.

"Hey," he said, voice low and sure. "You’re not dimming yourself for anyone tonight. You hear me?"

You smiled nervously. "I’m like... two inches taller than you right now."

Pedro chuckled, squeezing your hand. "And you look like a fucking queen. If anything, I should be wearing taller shoes to keep up with you."

You laughed, the tension breaking. He pressed a kiss to your temple, completely ignoring the flashing cameras.

"Let them talk," he murmured. "I’ve got the most beautiful woman in the room on my arm. I'm winning."

And just like that, you stood a little taller.

The next morning, you woke up to thousands of tweets, edits, and fan posts celebrating you both.

Pedro had even reposted one — a photoset of the two of you looking every bit like Hollywood royalty — with the caption: "Love when she looks at me like I hung the moon 🖤"

Cue the internet absolutely combusting.

Later that week, curled up on his couch in sweats and no makeup, you teased him, "You're really not bothered that I’m taller than you sometimes?"

Pedro set down his coffee, turning to you with that fond, devastating smile. "Sweetheart," he said, "I’m old enough to know when I'm blessed. You could be six feet tall or sixty feet tall — I'd still look at you like you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

You hid your burning face in his chest, laughing. He wrapped his arms around you tighter.

"Besides," he added with a wink, "I like having to look up at you. Keeps me humble."

You giggled, feeling weightless in a way you hadn't in a long time. And as he kissed the top of your head, murmuring sweet nothings into your hair, you realized —

Yeah. This was the real win. Not just for the tall girls. But for you. For the love you had found when you finally stopped shrinking yourself.

----

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfics #pp #x reader #pedro pascal fics #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal oneshot #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal blurb #pedro pascal x tall!reader #ficreq

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ramp-it-up · 22 hours ago

Text

Muse: Three

Muse: Two | Muse Masterlist | Muse: Four

Summary: Three's the Charm. Or the Curse.

Pairing: Art Curator! Ari Levinson x Plus sized model! Reader

Word count: 3.8 K

A/N: Muse will be a series of one shots featuring Muse and Ari, and this the second one. We’re gonna hear from them at least every week. 😏 Big thanks to @princessphilly who basically inspired the premise and then endured me being feral in her inbox. This AU is tangential to the Peach and Knock You Down verses. Here I go again. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. SMUT! Read at your own risk; curate your own experience. Angst and Toxicity. Art Curator Ari. Plus sized model Reader, dating app life, casual sex, toxic situationship, 2 am calls, phone sex, late night texts, 4 am confessions, mean reader, oral (m receiving) rough sex, implied impact play, some guy named Steve ;), masturbation and daydreaming, feelings are flying around, but no one is trying to catch them.

I don’t have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post!

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

--------

The third time wasn’t planned either.

You’d been at a rooftop party in Tribeca, his neighborhood, sipping tequila from someone else’s glass and pretending the skyline made you feel something. You'd been in Europe for 10 days, all work and no play (well maybe some good wine and good times), and now you were home, dressed to kill and hunting for absolutely nothing.

Not looking for anyone. No one at all.

You wore the kind of dress that made men stutter and women stare, all curve and cling, and a slit so high it epitomized the phrase ‘serving cunt.’ But matter how good you looked, the vibe was off. You were already halfway out the door, bored and buzzed, when your phone lit up.

—-

Someone mentioned to Ari that you were there and his heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t missed you. Not exactly. But you still lived in his bloodstream like a toxin.

Ari: I need to see that O'Keefe, because I’m thinking about how to pitch your pussy wing to the Whitney.

You smiled before you even meant to.

I’ll bring it over.

—---

His place again. Different vibe. Same tension.

He opened the door in a low-slung pair of sweats, shirtless, hair a mess like he’d either just woken up or spent the last hour trying not to text you. You crossed the threshold and flowed into him, your face winding up in his hands.

“You’ve ruined me,” he muttered against your lips.

“Good,” you whispered, sliding your hands down his chest. “I want you cracked open.”

The sex was a war. Bodies tangled, breath was stolen, teeth were at throats, and Ari’s hands left prints on your body that you begged for.

He pulled your hair. You bit his shoulder. Nobody relented.

But after, he asked the question neither of you you were supposed to ask.

“Why’d you really come?”

You glanced at him, a mess with your mascara smudged and your lips bruised. Ari thought you were beautiful.

“Because I was bored.”

It was a lie. But you said it like it was the truth.

Ari nodded once, no smile this time, “Fair.”

You sat up, pulling on your panties slowly. His eyes followed every movement like they always did.

“This is still just sex, Ari.”

“I know.”

You stood. Winked. And didn’t kiss him goodbye.

“Call me when you’re lonely enough to forget that.”

“I always am,” he said, voice low.

You almost turned around. Almost. But you walked out like you didn’t hear it, like your body wasn’t already aching for a fourth time.

Ari listened for your knock longer than realistic, his cock hard again for you and his chest a little hollow.

He knew the game. But the way you left wasn’t detachment.

That was art.

—----

2:14 a.m a week later

Your room was lit only by the glow of your phone You were still dressed, heels kicked off by the door, satin sheets tangled around your legs.

You weren’t drunk. Not really. Just restless. You were annoyed from a night full of people who said nothing interesting, and from hands that didn’t hold a candle to his.

You’d danced. Laughed. Almost let some stranger kiss you. But the whole time, Ari sat in your chest like a slow-burning ember you couldn’t snuff out.

So you called.

Not a text. Not a DM. A fucking call.

You didn’t even know why you called. He’d sent you his number weeks ago, and you hadn’t used it, only messaged him through the app. He followed you on Instagram and you added him just the week before.

Now he had your number, in more ways than one. He answered on the second ring.

“Muse,” his voice was thick with sleep and something else, something like relief. “Didn’t think I’d hear from you again.”

You paused and bit your lip.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Same.”

“So you weren’t surprised?”

“I’ve been waiting for this call since last week.”

Silence.

“You alone?” you asked.

“Always.”

That word sunk into your skin. Deeper than you wanted it to.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Then don’t,” he said, voice dipping low. “Just tell me what you need.”

You closed your eyes.

“I need to cum.”

Ari groaned softly. You heard rustling, sheets, maybe his hand already brushing over himself. That sound went straight between your legs.

“Are you touching yourself yet?” he asked, voice all velvet and gravel.

“Not yet. I want you to tell me what to do.”

“Fuck.” His breath hitched. “Okay. Take off whatever you’re wearing.”

You did. Slowly. Phone cradled against your shoulder. Cool air kissed your bare skin.

“Now what?”

“Lay back. Spread your legs. I want your fingers where I’d put my mouth.”

Your stopped breathing. He wasn’t even trying to play it cool anymore. His voice got rougher and more unhinged with every erotic instruction.

And you followed each one like a commandment.

He talked you through it, exactly how he’d taste you, hold you open, and suck you until you sobbed. The way he’d pin your hips down and lap up every drop. The way he wouldn’t let you come until you were begging for it.

You could almost feel how hard he was, how close. You were both panting, moaning, and lost in the fiction that felt more like fact. His voice was your undoing.

“Say my name,” he growled, right as the orgasm hit.

And you did.

“Ari...Jesus.....Ari.”

He came right after you, a deep groan that sounded like he’d been holding it in for days. Then silence again. You were the one to break it this time.

“This doesn’t mean anything.”

He laughed softly, wrecked.

Fucking Muse.

“No. Of course not. Just helping each other sleep.”

“Sure,” you murmured. “Just sleep.”

You didn’t hang up. Neither did he. You both stayed on the line. Not talking. Just breathing.

Until eventually, you fell asleep to the sound of him doing the same.

—-----

The next morning. You woke up to sunlight, a dry throat, and a notification.

Ari: Slept well?

You smirked. Stretched. You were still tingling from the night before.

You: Obviously. I sleep like a baby after I cum that hard.

Ari was undone. Hard as a rock at the news that he’d done his job. His job. Christ.

Ari: Then I’m a humanitarian. The UN should give me a medal. Nobel Peace of Ass.

You laughed into your pillow and typed back.

You: Don’t get cocky. You weren’t inside me and I did all the work.

Ari: You like doing the work. I’ve seen how you move when you’re on top. Still think about your pussy clenching around me. Fuck, you’re like a vice. An extremely wet, silky vice.

You stared at the screen for a second, jaw tight, heart a traitor.

You: You’re replaceable, you know.

A lie.

Ari: I know. You’ve had others. But none who make you call first. And no one else knows the sound you make when you’re trying not to moan.

You left him on read. An hour. Just to remind him you could.

—----

Later. Another ping.

Ari double texted. This was a problem.

Ari: Wearing anything dangerous today?

You: Pencil skirt. No panties. Dangerous enough?

Ari: The image I just got is illegal in 14 states. I’d risk all of them. Wanna see what you’ve done to me?

You almost said yes. Almost sent a pic yourself. Almost. Instead…

You: Ari, this isn’t a thing.

Ari: If it wasn’t a thing you wouldn’t have called me last night. And I wouldn’t still be thinking about all the ways you said my name.

They all destroyed me.

Your heart pounded irrationally.

You: You’re starting to sound attached.

Ari: More like, intrigued, like I’m staring at a painting I can’t afford but still keep coming back to.

That one hit. You didn’t reply. Not because you were uninterested, but because you were too interested.

And if he ever knew how often you reread his messages, he'd own you.

—-------------

4:07 a.m.

You woke up for no reason. Your phone was lit up on your nightstand with one notification.

Ari: You’re asleep. I know. Just needed to say this somewhere. You don’t have to respond.

You blinked. Stared. Something in your stomach coiled tight. Three dots blinked. Disappeared. Blinked again.

Ari: I lied. I wasn’t just intrigued. I’m fucking haunted by you.

You sat up, chest tight, throat dry. He kept going.

Ari: The way you looked in that dress. The way you laugh. The way you can leave like it doesn’t cost you a damn thing.

Ari: I don’t want to be a thing to you. But I want to be the thing. And I know you don’t do soft. But fuck, I’d let you break me slow if it meant I got to keep you a little longer.

Five minutes and you didn't reply. You couldn’t. Then he sent another text.

Ari: Ignore this. Delete it. Pretend I was drunk.

Then…

Ari: But if you feel anything close to what I feel….Say something.

You stared at your screen like it might explode. You felt everything and hated that he knew it. Why did he have to know you so well?

You: You shouldn’t say things like that at 4 a.m.

Three seconds later, Ari responded.

Because you said something.

Ari: It’s the only time I can’t lie to myself.

You closed your eyes. Goddamn him.

You stared at his last message until your eyes blurred. It was too much. And not enough.

Your first instinct was to shut it down.

You: You shouldn’t say things like that at 4 a.m. I’m not your salvation. I’m not built for soft landings. I will hurt you.

You hit send. Then tossed the phone aside like it burned you, but it buzzed again and you grabbed for it.

Ari: I’ll take the bruises.

You closed your eyes. God, why him? He was the one that would be your undoing. You hesitated before answering, your thumb hovering over the screen. Then you just did it.

You: …come over. Leave your feelings at the door.

Ari: Halfway there.

—----

Ten minutes later, you opened the door. Ari didn’t say a word. He didn’t need to.

His eyes were already on your mouth, immediately hypnotized. You grabbed him by the collar, dragged him in, kissed him hard and pushed him down on the couch.

You both knew this wasn’t just sex. But neither of you was ready to admit it.

“Your turn,” you murmured.

And then you dropped to your knees.

Ari froze. He hadn’t expected this. Not from you. You hadn’t sucked his dick. Not even once.

Not for lack of interest; he’d dreamt about it. Fantasized. But he never asked.

And now, here you were.

On your knees. For him.

His mouth went dry. His dick didn’t. Not even close.

“Muse…” his voice cracked, hands fisting the couch, knuckles white.

You didn’t answer. You lifted your arms and unbuttoned his shirt like he was a gift you were unwrapping. Your fingers traced over every line of muscle. He hissed when he realized this was really happening.

“Muse…you’re killing me.”

You leaned in and kissed his chest, tongue snaking out over his nipple. And he let you. You slid his shirt off, fingers brushing his triceps like you knew what made him weak.

“Shhhh,” you whispered. “’M busy.”

Ari’s head fell back on the couch as his blazing eyes watched you. He was utterly undone.

“Yeah, I can see that…”

With his shirt off, you kissed across his pecs, then shifted to lick and kiss each of his ribs and over his abs, sinking lower onto your knees. Ari was going to blow all over your face, and not on purpose.

“Oh god…”

“Woman at work here. Trying to focus.”

“Fuck. I am focused.. Focused on you…I just…”

You unbuckled his pants and once free, his cock bobbed in front of your face, completely erect and begging for your attention.

You looked up into his blue eyes, almost too soulful to look at.

“Looks like someone missed me,” you said.

Then your mouth was there, hot breath ghosting over his cock. He was already painfully hard. You hadn’t even touched him yet and he was halfway gone.

“Been too long,” he muttered. He hated himself for how true that was.

You raised a brow.

“We helped each other sleep yesterday. Fucked a week before that.”

He met your eyes. His were dark now, pupils blown so wide that the blue had almost disappeared.

“Like I said. Too-- fuck!”

He gasped as you stroked him, him up and down gently, then teased the tip, then slid down again, hands working his balls like an artist.

And when you reached out to lick his tip, Ari forgot how to breathe.

“What were you saying?”

“Fuck, Muse… I need…”

He was done speaking when you leaned forward and wrapped your lips around his dick. In fact, he stopped talking altogether. All that came from him were a series of moans and goans, as you worked him over with your tongue and your lips.

His hands found your hair, grasping gently at first, and then with increasing intensity as you bobbed on his cock.

You relished every moment, the visceral nature of it. At one point, he tried to pull you off, but you weren’t having it and instead took him deeper, forcing your throat to relax and take more of him.

“Oh my god. I… I’m going to cum.”

His fingers tangled in your hair. Not to guide you. Just to anchor himself. Because it was you. On your knees. For him. And he couldn't stop watching. Couldn’t believe this wasn’t a dream.

You worked him over like it was your job, like you were mad at him for not begging for it sooner. And maybe he was mad too, at how good it felt, at how much he needed this, needed you.

At how it made him feel something close to being worshipped. By you.

“Oh my god, I… I’m gonna…”

You didn’t stop.

You just looked him in the eyes and took him deeper.

And he came apart at the seams.

His muscles tensed, and it wasn’t quiet. It wasn’t polite.

It was a raw, guttural sound that settled between your legs like a brand.

He groaned your name, hips jolting, and you took it all. And did what you never did.

You swallowed.

Ari watched, chest heaving, sweat dotting his temples as you sat back on your knees and wiped the corners of your mouth as if you were casually adjusting your makeup.

Ari stared at you.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, woman.”

You tilted your head mock-innocently.

“Was it to your satisfaction?”

Ari didn’t answer, just lunged, grabbing your waist and hauling you onto the couch easily. Then he threw one of your legs over his shoulder as he mouthed at the soft skin on your thigh.

You breathed his name just the way he liked, “Ari…”

“You didn’t think I was done, did you?”

You smirked. “Not even close. You did say it’d been too long.”

His look said exactly how long it’d been.

The talking stopped. The fucking started.

And this time, it wasn’t war, it was surrender. The kind that left you both trembling. That kind that left marks you wouldn’t find until morning.

And in the moments after, when your chest was on his, both of you soaked in sweat and breathless, you whispered just loud enough for him to hear:

“Say anything like that again, and I’ll ruin you.”

Ari, still high off the taste of you, decided to be a smart ass.

“Promise?”

But he knew he couldn’t let you tear him apart forever.

----

The next afternoon, your limbs were sore in that satisfied way, and the ache between your thighs left a lingering reminder that you’d had that kind of night.

One that left you wrecked, wired, and craving more. You stretched slowly and let the memory hit you like a second wave.

The way he’d looked at you while his fingers worked you open.

The way his voice slid against your skin when he called you beautiful.

The way he owned every inch of you without a single promise.

Ari wasn’t there. But you wanted him to be.

That’s what really fucked you up.

Because you were the one who never wanted more. You were the one who always left first.

But something about Ari’s touch had lingered. It wasn’t just the sex, though fuck, the sex was enough to ruin you. It was the way he looked at you. That was worse.

Those blue eyes were steady and unbothered, and entirely too knowing that you were far from indifferent towards him.

And that was so inconvenient.

You padded to the kitchen, naked and still wearing the imprint of his hands. Every step reminded you of how thoroughly you’d been fucked.

God, he was so good at that.

Coffee brewed while your thighs ached, the good kind of sore. You checked your phone.

No messages.

Good.

No expectations. No complications.

Just a memory of the way he’d groaned your name, the weight of his body pressing on yours, the deep, slow thrusts that opened you up in the most delicious way. The way his fingers had curled around your throat, not to choke, just to hold.

Ari's voice in your ear, You like this? Like being used by me?

He knew the answer to that. So did you, but you’d never admit it.

You sat down on the edge of your sofa, legs falling open instinctively, your fingers trailing down the inside of your thigh.

You weren’t going to call him. You told yourself that.

Swore it.

But if you closed your eyes, you could still feel his mouth between your legs, dragging your orgasm out like it was a performance piece. You remembered the way his tongue had written his name on your clit, the soft hum in his throat that said he was enjoying it more than you were.

Your lip caught between your teeth as your fingers slid lower, slick and ready, your body already betraying you.

All for Ari, even if he wasn’t there.

You pressed down, finding that rhythm, that pressure, that perfect place where pleasure bloomed behind your eyes.

Your head fell back. You imagined him there. On his knees. Worshipping. That beard scraping your thighs, his hands holding you wide open.

Your fingers moved faster, hips tilting, breath breaking apart in gasps as the edge closed in.

Ari. Ari. Fucking Ari.

You came with a quiet cry, hips jerking, legs squeezing together as your body pulsed around nothing. No cock. No hands. Just the ghost of him and your own damn fingers.

And when you came down from it, breathless and alone, you muttered to no one:

“…Fuck.”

—----

A couple hours later, you wandered through the grocery store, hair up, face clean, but dressed in a scowl that was meant to intimidate. You told yourself you just needed coffee, but you knew better.

You lingered too long by the fruit, fingers brushing over waxy apples, mind elsewhere entirely. When the cart bumped into yours, you looked up impassively.

“Guess I owe you an apple,” a deep voice said.

You glanced up. Tall. Handsome. Short brown hair, clean shaven, fit. Handsome.

He looked safe, the kind of guy who’d text the next morning. The kind of guy who’d ask what you were doing this weekend.

He placed an apple in your basket, a charming little peace offering.

“I’m Steve, Steve Kemp.”

You turned the apple over in your hand, feeling the weight of it, the simplicity.

“Smooth,” you said, lifting one brow. “That line usually work?”

He grinned, leaning in just a little, enough to close the space between strangers.

“Only when the person looks like they’re about to run away.”

For a second, it tempted you, the ease of it. A new face. A clean slate. The comfort of something safe. But you didn’t want safe. You didn’t want easy.

You wanted…something from someone you wouldn’t admit to yourself.

You wanted the weight of a body pinning you down, the sharp scrape of a beard on your thighs, every inch of you being owned. And although you could tell him to try to replicate that, this guy wasn’t it.

You set the apple back on the pile, giving the stranger a soft, practiced smile.

“Not in the market,” you said, and walked away without looking back.

Your body was still beholden to the memory of someone else.

—--

Across the city, Ari sat at his desk, contracts open, untouched. You lived in his head, under his skin. He closed his eyes, and there you were, hips rolling, breath hitching, the taste of your skin still on his tongue, the scrape of your nails against his back still stinging, and the breathy, desperate way you’d said his name still echoing in his brain.

Ari closed his eyes, the memory playing out without permission. The sacred image of your cream coating his condom-wrapped cock tormented him.

His hand shifted, cupping the hard line straining against his slacks. For a second, the idea of jerking off right there in the office to the thought of fucking you raw didn’t seem all that crazy.

He was sure he could get off with just a few tugs thinking of you.

Yeah. He was crazy.

The buzz of his phone dragged him back, the screen flashing with a reminder: late lunch date. Ari exhaled, flexing his fingers once before pulling himself upright. The day wanted him elsewhere. But his head stayed with you.

Muse.

—--

The low hum of conversation floated through Cathédrale, the kind of place where everything felt expensive and deliberately dim. Ari sat back in the leather banquette, nursing a glass of bourbon that didn’t do a damn thing to settle the fluttering behind his ribs.

Across the table, his lunch companion was talking, her voice a smooth, practiced purr that he barely registered.

Poppy, Polly, Peggy. He wasn’t quite sure of the nickname.

She was perfect on paper. Stylish, sharp, bred for black-tie galas, fluent in flirtation, and eternally just a little bit bored. She leaned in slightly, perfume clouding the air between them, her voice dropping to that silky soft register women used when they were about to cross a line.

“My husband’s in London for the week,” she said, letting the words hang there, heavy with suggestion.

It should’ve landed. It didn’t. Any other day, maybe it would’ve.

But all he could think about was you. The image of you stretched out under his artwork, flushed and undone. The way your hips had rocked against his hand, head thrown back, mouth open and desperate.

The way your thighs had tightened around his shoulders, dragging him deeper, holding him there while your flesh shuddered around his mouth.

His dick twitched against the constraint of his slacks, the memory more vivid than the woman across from him.

His companion laughed lightly, brushing her hand against his wrist, letting it linger, waiting for him to bite. But he didn’t.

“Sorry,” Ari said, pulling his hand away, polite but distant. “Got a lot on my mind today.”

You were a whole hell of a lot.

She tilted her head, mistaking his disinterest for some calculated game. But there was no game. Not this time. The lunch wrapped up fast after that, her parting glance lingering a little too long, and Ari let her go without another thought.

Because the only woman tangled in his head wasn’t sitting across the table.

It was you.

The one who wasn’t supposed to mean more than a couple of nights.

The one he couldn’t shake.

His Muse.

------

Muse Four

Are you as wrecked as I am?

#ari levinson au #ari levinson #ari levison x reader #ari levinson x plus size!reader #ari levinson x model!reader #ari levinson smut #ari levinson x you #chris evans #chris evans characters #ari levinson angst

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jude457 · 1 day ago

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So I’ve been getting a lot of asks lately questioning my characterisation of Inho, and I figured it’s time I just lay it all out. Here’s how I personally interpret his character, and how I view his relationship with Gihun.

To me, Inho is a deeply broken and traumatised person. Not just morally conflicted, but someone who’s spent years building a carefully controlled facade. Underneath the precision and control is someone who harbors a deep resentment for humanity, a philosophy born from intense personal suffering and emotional isolation.

Returning to the Games to become the Frontman wasn’t a power grab—it was a form of emotional self-destruction. A kind of psychological self-harm. He built an identity where he could carry out the unthinkable by pretending it wasn’t really him doing it. He’s compartmentalised so heavily that he views the Frontman and Inho as separate people. A shield. A way to detach from the horrors he’s enforcing. Inho is the man behind the trauma; the Frontman is the role he steps into so he can function within a system that destroyed him. It’s all about control and surviving by suppressing what’s left of his humanity.

His relationship with the VIPs is not one where they are equals or where there is an inkling of respect—far from it. While Il-nam was a peer to them, Inho has always been a player. Player 132. Just another body who survived. To the VIPs, he’s not a partner in their cruelty—he’s a well-dressed dog they keep on a leash. I headcanon their relationship as one that’s exploitative, abusive, and dehumanising. They exert control over him in every way, including sexually, because they don’t see him as a person, just a tool. Just dirt.

And Inho survives that, too, by dissociating. He tells himself it’s happening to the Frontman. That this is the price of keeping them entertained. Keeping them happy. He can endure anything if he keeps believing it isn’t really happening to him.

And then there’s Gihun.

Gihun is the one person who disrupts all of that. He’s proof that pain doesn’t have to rot you from the inside out. That empathy and defiance can survive. Gihun becomes this accidental mirror to Inho’s own buried innocence—something I like to believe Young-il represents. A ghost of who he used to be. The version of him that might have believed in people before everything broke. And without meaning to, Gi-hun speaks to that part of him. Gi-hun becomes the embodiment of an idea Inho no longer believes in: that suffering doesn’t always destroy, that people can still choose kindness in hell.

Which brings me to their relationship.

I love the idea that their dynamic flips post-canon. Gihun, after everything he’s been through, carries this weight of grief and guilt for the people he couldn’t save. He becomes quieter, more guarded. Meanwhile, Inho—freed from the mask—starts to feel again. He’s almost childlike in how he approaches love, like someone experiencing it for the first time. He’s giddy, awkward, overwhelmed. There’s a tenderness to him that he’s terrified to express but desperate to hold onto.

But that tenderness—what Inho starts to feel around Gihun—it terrifies him. Because it’s unfamiliar. It’s fragile. And deep down, he doesn’t believe he deserves it.

Inho is someone who has learned to equate intimacy with danger. Submission, control, violence—those are the currencies he knows. Love? That’s alien. And more than that, it feels like a trap. So as their bond deepens, he does something tragic: he tries to twist it. To make Gi-hun hurt him. To turn their closeness into punishment.

He’ll push. He’ll provoke. He’ll offer himself up not as a man who wants love, but as one who wants to be used. Because that, at least, he understands. That, at least, makes sense in the broken framework he’s built to survive. If Gihun hurts him, then maybe the guilt becomes manageable. Maybe it justifies everything Inho has done. Maybe it makes it easier to believe he can’t be forgiven.

But the tragedy is—Gihun won’t play into that script.

Gihun sees the cracks. He sees the pain beneath the bravado. And even though he’s carrying his own unbearable grief, he refuses to become Inho’s executioner. He won’t give him that out. He doesn’t offer redemption through punishment—but through presence. Through patience. Through refusing to stop seeing him.

He touches Inho with intention, with care. And that’s what makes it so much harder. Because being touched gently doesn’t just feel unfamiliar—it feels dangerous. His body remembers what he worked so hard to forget. Every soft moment risks unearthing something he locked away.

Sometimes Inho flinches at things that aren’t threats. Sometimes he pulls away when he wants nothing more than to lean in. Sometimes Inho weeps and doesn’t know why. Sometimes he shakes under the weight of a kiss. Sometimes he begs without words for it to stop—not because it hurts, but because it doesn’t. And that makes it harder than anything. And sometimes—worst of all—he tries to recreate the conditions of his own abuse. He offers himself up like he’s disposable, hoping Gihun will use him. Hurt him. Confirm his worthlessness.

Because if someone like Gihun—someone who has every reason to walk away—can still choose to stay, to try, then maybe Inho has to face the scariest truth of all: that love might not be something he has to earn through suffering. That maybe—just maybe—he’s still capable of being loved as he is.

While I do enjoy reading bottom!Gihun/top!Inho dynamics (and there’s some really great writing out there that explores that side of them in compelling ways), when it comes to how I personally write them, I’ll always lean toward Inho as the bottom.

For me, it’s not just about preference—it’s about what it means for his character.

Inho is someone who’s spent so much of his life exerting control or being controlled in dehumanising, painful ways. His entire existence—especially as the Frontman—has been defined by rigidity, repression, and survival. So when I write him as the one giving up control, it’s not about dominance or submission in a traditional sense—it’s about catharsis.

It’s about him choosing to be vulnerable. About letting someone else take the lead not to hurt him, not to punish him, but to give him something. To care for him. To make him feel good. That, in itself, is radical for someone like him.

To be at the mercy of someone else—not for violence, but for pleasure—is the clearest way I can express how his relationship with Gihun is healing. It’s not about erasing his trauma. It’s about rewriting the narrative. About allowing his body to become a place of comfort, safety, and intimacy again.

#squid game #hwang inho #jude has thoughts

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cautious-soup · 2 days ago

Text

Yakuza!Sukuna x Fem!Reader

Part 1

Summary: You live a comfortable life as the daughter of parents who own a successful company. The man to whom that success is owed has dark intentions for you.

CW// abduction, degredation, bodyshaming from Sukuna (he calls you piggie) and he will get meaner. He isn't very nice :(

A/N: Hi! The poll results have been answered. Here is the first part of my Sukuna story! Reader is plus-sized in this story cause I felt like it. However, just like in the source material, Sukuna is mean and is not going to make you feel good about it!!! (At first) If that bothers you, PLEASE don't read this and read something you're comfortable with instead. I do not want to trigger anybody and am writing according to my own limits. Heed the warnings! Anyway, please enjoy this new story.

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You've always been called spoiled, but is that really such a bad thing? Is it awful to have parents who love and indulge you?

Your involvement in your parent's company, Sweet Valley Candy, is superficial—a trendy young influencer who posts vlogs, only some of which are at all related to the company. You keep things light, post baking recipes that use Sweet Valley ingredients, and keep out of controversy. Abrasive comments about your figure and social status notwithstanding, you eventually find yourself with a substantial following across multiple platforms.

Still, it isn't enough for you to really be involved in your family business, not enough for you to know the truth.

Your dad never wanted you to doubt him. It was why he kept the impending bankruptcy of the company a secret years ago. It was why he never told you or your mom why he was up so late, or out for so long. He never told either of you what sat beneath the rose-gold foil wrapped candy bars in their shipping containers.

You only catch glimpses of the man at first. Once you watched from the lobby of HQ as your dad got inside of a sleek black car with someone else. His body from the neck up was obscured, but you could see a hand with black bands tattooed around the wrist reach out and clasp your dad's shoulder.

It doesn't weigh on you much at first, at least until you ask. You watch your dad's face turn to stone, the lines on his face deepen, like he's aged a hundred years in a moment's notice.

From then on, he does everything in his power to ensure you never meet the man you saw in the car, never see his face or even hear his voice.

But you do hear it eventually, eavesdropping on your dad's calls when you're bored—pressing an ear to his office doors and hearing a low, rough voice over his desk phone.

The sound of it kept you up that night. You match it to the hand you'd seen clasp your dad's shoulder and shiver.

You finally see him in person at a fundraiser, just for a moment while you give a speech. You watch a man, tall and strong and sure, wade through the crowd with bodyguards on either side of him. He looks almost bored, and his hair is...pink? The people around him blanch at the tattoos marking his face, you've never seen anything like it. Your dad's expression goes stone cold when the man approaches him and steers him towards the exit. You stammer through the remainder of the speech, and your heart doesn't quite settle. Everyone pretends nothing happened, and you're too scared to ask any questions.

The next time you're over for dinner at your parents, they're both tense and uneasy. Their eyes shift, their words meander and wind around topics, their plates are hardly touched.

That night, before you retire to your old bedroom, you hear sobbing. You peek into your parent's room to find your dad, distraught and broken, being cradled in your mom's arms.

"I won't let him," he repeats over and over, "I can't let him,"

You step away from the door, before running as quietly as you can back to your old room, closing the door. No matter how hard you try, you can't undo the knot in your chest.

You keep thinking about that man, you aren't sure why.

He wonders the same thing, watching two of his men lay into another man tied to a chair. Blood is an everyday sight for Sukuna, and has been since he was a child.

And you were a piggie, rounded and soft and cushy from a life of over-indulgence and little worry. Even your lips were...

He didn't have what you grew up with, loving parents, bottomless money, a good education. The contempt he feels for spoiled piggies like you knows no bounds.

"Sir?"

Sukuna brings himself back, and looks at the man on the chair, face pulped and swollen, blood and mucus pouring from every orifice. He chuckles.

"Can you still talk?"

"Kkksh...ysh..." the man snorts through the fluid pooling in his mouth.

"Then answer my question, it's simple," Sukuna said, looking at the nail polish chipping from his index finger, "Did he steal from me?"

"...I dunno," the man in the chair says.

Sukuna sighs, motioning for his men to continue, but the man wails and says "Huuuh, uugh, ok...yesh he...shtole...skimmed cash..." the man is struggling to speak properly, but Sukuna understands it all.

That was the thing about this business. Only the dishonest could prosper, which meant trust was a myth. It was a shame; Sukuna liked your father—liked the benefits he gave him. With Sweet Valley Candy, everything operated smoothly, with little to no hiccups on a monthly basis.

Sukuna knew the position he was in. Your father, his company, it was all too valuable to just cut away.

No, no, he just needed to be taught a lesson. Your father took from him, so now he would take from your father.

You're ignorant of the danger that comes with status—convinced the reason your parents don't want you out by yourself is because of irrational fear.

"No, no it's fine I can totally walk from here," you tell your driver, who nods curtly and pulls off. You like walking anyway, it clears your head.

The city has lulled into a rare and ambient stillness. If you strain, you can hear the sound of traffic afar off. Other than that, it's quiet.

So naturally, you hear the car pull up behind you. You keep walking, waiting for it to turn off onto another street or park, but it keeps rolling, the crackling of rubber wheels on asphalt following you for two whole blocks.

You chance a glance over your shoulder, tensing up when you see tinted windows and dim headlights.

It was a bit off, but what were the chances?

You keep walking, and the car keeps following you. Your tension slowly eases when your penthouse comes into view. Whatever the person behind you was planning, they wouldn't do it within view of your building's security system.

At least, that's what you think.

It's right before you reach the doors to the lobby that you hear a car door open. You dig in your purse for your keycard, heart pounding at the sound of approaching footsteps.

A gloved hand covers your mouth and you realize: this is happening.

You kick, you bite, but it doesn't do anything to the leather glove. You try to scream, you swing your arms, but they're restrained. Your purse is grabbed and thrown, along with your phone.

You're pulled backwards, and the last thing you see is the useless doorman looking down at his phone.

But there's still cameras. Someone will notice you're missing and see the footage and find you, it'll be ok.

You're thrown roughly into the back of the car, the scent of treated leather and cologne meeting your nose.

"There she is," a low, rough voice says.

You glance up and see him, the man with the pink hair. You can feel your eyebrows climbing at the sight of his face up close. You always found tattoos tasteless, but on him they're...

"You got any idea why you're in here piggie?" He asks, lips curled in a cruel kind of mirth. You reel back at the nickname, pressing your lips together as the car starts moving.

The man chuckles, "Ah, where are my manners." He holds out his hand, "I'm Sukuna,"

You remain still and silent.

"Hm. Well, I know your name. I also know you like to walk home alone. No driver, no security...ignorant and spoiled huh?"

You frown, "Why bother anyway? The camera outside of my building saw everything. You'll be caught before 24 hours are up."

"Look at you, so confident." Sukuna says, looking you up and down. You squirm in your seat, and realize you never put on a seatbelt.

"Why not restrain me?" You ask, pulling the seat belt over your shoulder. Sukuna gives you a deadpan look, "Unless you've had some rich kid self defense training, I doubt you'd be able to take me, sweetheart." He says.

You shrink back into the car seat. He's right. Your phone is gone, the closest thing you have for self defense is your acrylic nails. But you have the feeling that if you try anything, your arm will be bent the wrong way before you can blink.

A ruthless kind of energy radiates off of Sukuna, it makes you huddle as far away from him as possible.

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After what must be about an hour and a half of driving, the car eases to a stop. The door opens, and you're yanked out by men in dark clothes, being shoved towards some warehouse looking building. You feel your stomach turning, and try to fight the tears pricking your eyes.

The door opens, and you feel your heart stop.

"Another one?" You whisper at the sight of another pink haired man identical to Sukuna, sitting in a folding chair and holding a...Nintendo Switch Lite.

Huh.

"Yuuji," Sukuna barks, and the man, Yuuji, stands up.

"Handle her," he says, and you watch him turn on his heel and leave, slamming the door.

Yuuji scratches the back of his head, "I'm uh, real sorry about this. S'nothing against you, really," he says.

You remain stiff, and he sighs.

"Uh if you could just..." he motions to a chair in the center of the room. In addition to the chair, there's a rusty bed frame with an old looking mattress, and a sink. On the far right wall there's another door, you hope it leads to a bathroom.

You sit in the chair, with Yuuji following close behind. He digs in his pocket, and you wince at the feeling of cold, hard handcuffs being fastened to your wrists.

You let out a trembling breath, trying to remain calm, trying to think rationally. But really, all you've been able to think is: what now?

Yuuji leaves the warehouse for a few minutes before returning with a tripod and camera. He's avoiding eye contact with you, setting the camera up a few feet from where you're restrained.

Clearly, he dislikes whatever this is. You note that, and glance over at the yellow Nintendo Switch sitting on the folding chair.

You swallow and ask, "What uh, what were you playing just now?"

Yuuji pauses, mouth open in an answer. He purses his lips, "I'm not supposed to talk to you," he says.

You smile, shifting in your seat, "Come on, it's not like I can do anything like this," you wiggle your wrists against the cuffs to make a point. Yuuji still doesn't look at you.

"I mean come on, I'm not a psychic, small talk won't hurt, right?" You say, giving him a smile.

Yuuji blushes, "I was just playing Dragon Quest," he said, still fiddling with the camera.

"Oh? Which one, eleven is pretty good I think."

Yuuji perks up, "Yeah that's the one! You've played it?"

You nod, "Yeah,"

Yuuji is about to speak again, but the door to the warehouse is thrown back open.

You both look at Sukuna, who has a cigarette between his teeth, and flecks of blood on his shirt that you hadn't seen in the dark of the car.

"...I thought I told you not to talk to her," he sighed.

Yuuji frowned, "What's the harm in it?" But one look from Sukuna had him clamming up.

"Leave, I got it from here." he muttered.

Yuuji looked between you and Sukuna, before sighing and grabbing his switch. He gives you the tiniest smile before walking out the door. You feel your bottom lip start to tremble. You really didn't want to be alone with him.

Despite thousands of comments from men and women alike calling you gorgeous, beautiful, adorable, the few insults left by strangers online affected you more than you admitted to yourself.

His gaze drags a chill up your spine, you flinch involuntarily.

Sukuna laughs, "Aw, did you want the good cop, piggie?" He asked.

You swallow down a retort at the insult, it was no mystery why he was calling you that.

Still, nobody was ever so bold as to hurl those insults to your face. Hearing such things in person re-opened wounds you thought were sealed.

"Just record your ransom video already," you say, looking at the camera, "That's what this is, right?"

Sukuna snorts, "Please. Holding someone for ransom is for amateurs,"

He approaches you, grabbing the back of the chair and tilting you forward. He bends down until he's at eye level.

"You're here because your dad is a thief," he whispers, "So, I stole from him."

You can hardly breathe, what did that mean? A thief? You haven't even been able to parse out why your dad is involved with someone so shady, now you're hearing he's a thief?

"You're lying," you say, tilting your chin up, "He'd n-"

Before you can finish your sentence, Sukuna lets go of the chair and lets it fall to the ground. You move your head just in time, groaning as your temple collides with the concrete. It's definitely bruised at best.

You can only see Sukuna's shoes and the legs of the tripod. You watch him move toward it, hearing a small beep shortly after.

"I'm sure you know what this is," Sukuna says. He walks back over to you, pulling the chair up until your face is in frame. You whine as Sukuna grabs your jaw, forcing you to look at the lens.

"I've been as cooperative as can be," he says, "But you still chose to steal from me. I can't for the life of me imagine why,"

Sukuna walks back toward the camera, glancing over his shoulder at you for a moment before continuing, "It's simple. You make up the sum you stole from me, you get her back. I know by the time you see this you'll have seen the footage of her being taken. But that's what I wanted."

Sukuna leans down and looks directly into the camera lens, "I wanted to see her get taken away from you. And now, with every day that passes, I want you to imagine all of the awful things that'll happen to her. Dream about them too, maybe they'll come true." He says. "If you go to the police, I'll just let them know that you've been keeping your shitty candy company afloat by pushing drugs,"

Sukuna laughs at your gasp, turning around fully to look at you, "Yes, piggie, you heard me right."

He gives one last look at the camera, "You've got a month tops, or else she's dead." Sukuna says, pressing his thumb against a button on the camera and ending the recording.

Dead.

As the blood drains from your face, you hear Sukuna laugh. He laughs and laughs, and it's all you can do to stay sane.

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A/N: I won't be able to stop writing these until my brain is rid of the worms. Not sure how long this one'll be, we'll see. Thank you for reading!

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